INERVIUUUU

So! here i am. Kelmarin aku bertolak ke Shah Alam dengan Nini. Cadangnya nak tidur rumah ba-fa-fa aku, TAPI disebabkan tarbiyah boss aku yang telah membuatkan aku terlebih sedor, jadinya last last minute pergi cari hotel bajet je area Jakel tu ha.

aku doa, niat jumpa hotel bagus sikit. So lepas 5 minit aku ternampak satu signboard kata ada Wifi, ada CCTV, so yeah, that's it that's the hotel. so easy kan? So aku masuk hotel tu then ada sorang kakak comel tengah jaga kaunter. aku check helaian atas meja kaunter. so paling murah rm80. wow murahnyaaaaa apa lagi aku kasi nama kasi no telefon kat kakak tu. kakak tu pun banyak membantu aku yang banyak soalan ni hehehe. so kakak tu kata paling awal boleh check in pun 1.30tgh, oleh itu aku pergi cari kedai nak basuh keter jap.

macam biasa, aku pergi kat area Pak Li. ada satu kedai ni aku suka pergi dari part 2, fullemakk dah berubah doh. nama pun dah lain. rupanya dah tukar owner katanya. rm35 pehh berkilat ilang calar sesikit kat keter putih tuh. so berbaloi lah. kalau aku amek yang rm45 tu gamaknya berkilat macam kereta kat showroom tu entah eentah kan amenda merepek okay lepas cuci kereta masa tu dalam 2.15, alhamdulillah ada parking kosong, so aku masuk je (hotel ni ada lima je reserved parkingnya so first come first serve). so lepas kasi deposit rm50 + duit kad rm50 (warranty jep. jangan la hang pi bagi ilang plak kad tu), kitorang pun naik bilik. sampai sampai je bilik, aku dah nampak katil je. baring baring sebelum tertido aku niat jamak ta'khir dulu and pesan kat Nini (tapi kunci jam jugak) so dalam 4.30 macam tu aku terjaga and mandi + solat (masa ni aku airplane mode kan phone sebab tengah charge).

buka2 je phone tetengok ada misscall banyak kat whatsapp dah apahal. ehhhh qeela ya rabbi WutWut buat hallll. and masa aku tengok phone tu pun dah dekat jam 6. padahal dah janji nak buka puasa dengan Qeela & Man :( so she ended up buka puasa kat tepi jalan dengan bakal mak mertua dia dengan tunangnya sambil tunggu towtruck. betapa sedihhhhhnyaaaa tak berkesempatan nak jumpa langsung adoiiiiii

MAAFKAN AKU Q............................

˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

.·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

(つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

so kitorang ended up berbuka bertiga dengan man dan siap bowling sesh lagik kat Plaza Alam Sentral satu round haha! minum minum then balik aku cuak kottt PAGI INTERVIEW so aku jam 7.30 ke fakulti dah. kebetulan students tengah exam kan. dan budak budak asasi pun dah pindah Dengkil. So parking lengang woohoo!

lepak lepak jap then aku contact Hafiz. jumpa 'Izzati dengan Aishah Pattali so sampai sampai je Cempaka jumpa si Zamigha pulakk. Havoc dah lulz. jam 9.30 baru diorang mula atur budak budak actually. so mula pun dalam jam 10 dah masa tu. macam biasa ikut nama alphabetical order.

DRAMA
lagi 2 pair (sekali masuk dua orang) tiba tiba aku sedar salinan sijil aku yang dah disahkan hilang! padahal aku ingat aku letak atas buku sijil aku tadi. ha sudah. ni mesti Hafiz ni. sebab aku nampak diorang duduk situ tadi lepas dia keluar bilik. kelam kabut la cari nombor si hafiz ni sebab kitorang mana kenal dia sangat pun. dia macam mutual friends to friends gitu lol. siap friend request lah kat fb punya kelam kabut hahahaha. lepastu siapa entah bagi brilliant idea suruh tweet and WE DID IT! aku terus tanya Gon and THANK GOD SHE REPLIED IMMEDIATELY and aku terus call hafiz! hahahahaha dia pun baru sedar dah terangkat sekali aku punya barang. dengan sorry tak habis habis aku gelak kata takpela datang je hantar. dah hantar tu pun dok sorry sorry lagi hahaha takpela benda dah ada pun kan. Settled.

INTERVIEW
aku masuk dengan Shaqeel (tak tahu eja nama dia aku ikut Zamigha je) dalam jam 12 gitu. Interviewer kitorang ada lima! Mdm Norma, Mdm Rafizah, Dr Azhani dan Dr Norazlina. Shaq kena tanya dulu then baru aku. aku kena tanya pasal family background, job scope dan current issue. i rambled about AntiVaxx. saying that it does not goes well with our sec 31 of Child Act and sec 269 and 270 of Penal Code blablabla. dan elok masa aku mula nak jawab tu Dr Haidar masuk. sajalah kot kan. aku dah ah dulik ah. jawab je confidently. soalan last, Dr Norazlina tanya aku, do you still play piano? hahaha aku cakap ada la sikit kan. twinkle twinkle little star boleh ar aku main tak tengok piece lolz. so dalam jam 1 jugak habis.


sampai hotel dah 1.30, kelam kabut mandi siap solat semua jam 2 terus gerak balik Penang dah. asalnya kitorang ingat nak gi tengok adik aku yang kat UIA tu tapi mak aku cakap dah lewat dah ni. so kitorang call kakngah kata tak jadi jenguk dia. the good news is she'll be back for Raya on friday (YEAYY!) but then aku still kena kerja sampai sehari sebelum raya. and event buka puasa dengan LA 2hb July (kalau jadi) ha gitu. so weekend ni aku dengan NIni tak balik Perlis lah jadinya. so yeah tu je kot. mengantuk. bye

Juadah berbuka

I'm such a sucker for things wrapped with egg. and sik krabu. and kambing bakaq.  (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

i don't know how this went to those

i look at my friends and thought to myself.

"Patutlah aku single lagi."

"Patutlah I'm still alone."

"They're so much prettiEST, no wonder."

"my kid wont be as cute. they'll follow same path as mine. i shouldnt get married. shouldnt breed."

"I'm too weird, no wonder."

"no mom would like me as their DIL I'm too strange too weird too stupid too ugly too-not-deserving-her-son....

too negative

Ah no wonder

i look at all people i used to have crush with. ada empat kot. kebetulan semua nama mula huruf A oih dah melalut. semua girlfriend depa fuh nala no wonder lah aku kena reject lagi gila nak mampoih dan aku di sini cuma dapat berdoa kalau ada kecantikan pun padaku, tuhan tolong sembunyikan ia dan biarkan yang hak saja nampak.

 aku trauma. sungguh. lelaki yang sepatutnya menjadi pelindung, memilih untuk berlaku sebaliknya.mungkin aku kena peluk je, tapi kesannya ya rabbi sampai sekarang aku tak boleh tengok pak cik tu. apa hak dia nak peluk aku? and what's worse i sthat aku pulak yang takut setiap kali jumpa. and itms not even my fault. i forgot my phone and went back home when everyone's at the kenduri. big mistake. my aunt's husband was there and said he missed me and hugged me. i keep and keep and keep. all relatives thought that i was acting a lot stranger than usual. when we visit their house, i chose not to salam with uncle. and they thought it's because bukan mahram. man i wish it was that. i kept my distance. and one day, dad talked about how he dislike uncle and i thought to myself who should i trust? Ibu or Ayah. logically i thought dad is strong so dad should do something about it. but no. nothing happened. and i thought to myself. whatever couldve been done? we're relatives. it's just an alleged act. i dont have proof. and last week, dad maybe was fooling around. he inserted his fingers into my ears. AND I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE AT ALL WITH HIS ACT but i kept quiet. i thought he was just playing. and i thought why would you joke that way? WHY THE FUCK? 

ya allah lindungi aku dan adik-adik dan semua wanita wanita yang tak berdaya.

and this article of R.Age on Laws Against Child Grooming just lighten up my scars. ya allah why do i feel so weak why god You made us so perfect, but why.

 i just hope i'll get married someday and i should be able to tell him this one day. but it's late and I'm getting tired of waiting and i guess my hope is fading. so i guess i should be stronger to myself aren't i? i will protect my mom and sisters with all my heart. God please protect us :'(

Kahwin Campur?

mungkin best jugak kahwin campur etnik ni kot eh. secara tak langsung kau boleh belajar budaya etnik lain. 

Dan paling bonus bila kau dapat belajar bahasa ketiga! Jackpottttruueyeyeuejyfvnj!

to all people in my past....

.....who've been ignored or blocked from my social networks,

please understand 

or chased once. Bich understand this.

i'm trying to start a new life and i don't want old things haunting me. 

So i'll put an end if i could or just

 

learn to let it go.

Ramadhan Mubarak gais.

8/6/2016

Muse-Time is running out

Time's ticking and I am still not married and is still not able to do silly little thingsssss that young couples do.

God help mehhhhhhh

but i aint getting married just because I'm  old AND just bcs I'm afraid i'll be the old spinster with lotsa cats AND not because everybody is doing it.

p.s. in the meantime, HiddleSwift is trending. Boo hooooooooooooo!

Trouble, trouble, double, bubble

i am really aware of my very low self esteem always giving me hard time.

People got annoyed of me.

People shoving me away.

People thinking "What the f* is wrong with this girl?"

People keeping distance from me.

Even from my favourite people.

And that saddens me a lot.

But then God might be showing me that

i shan't keep selling to those who don't even think to buy, aren't i?

as much as it hurts me to know the truth.

as i might be another subtitle, never good enough to be made for the title.

No promises

i always find that, promises bind souls.

Don't you feel that?