Birthdaysss

My wish was heard last year.

And also two years back.

Birthday wishes are awesomeee!

Can't wait for next year!

Heather by Sri

It's been more than a month since I started working out at gym. I'm loving this. Feels like all of my negativity is being channelled into something that is more beneficial than crying under a shower or even being depressed alone.

RCT

Well I'm feeling a bit upset tonight. But I've been meaning to write about my rm1000 tooth treatment so here it is..

Well for the past few days my tooth has been aching exactly at 3am for couple of days, so day 3 I went to see a dentist in this dental clinic I used to go couple years back. The doctor went and made me go for x-ray. He said he sees nothing out of normal. He could only offer me PCL for the aching part and I said it's okay then since 7 eleven is on the same row of the dental clinic. That costs me like rm100... I think...? Rm50 for the x-ray and the rest for the consultation..?

So I tried getting the former dentist (at the same dental clinic) and they say he now is only on duty every Wednesday night. So I booked an appointment for him, Dr. S. This time around the doctor examined my tooth and asked me to seek for the other dentist (mind you the last time I went there I was treated by two different dentists since both of them are expert for two different dental line (I think?). He performed some kind of sensitivity test on my aching tooth aaaaaaand looks like my tooth has looking gone :( Sedihnya I'm so sorry tooth :( I'm such a bad tooth-carrier.... :( The doctor was super nice and this time syukurrrrr the doctor didn't even charge me a penny.

So the third time I went to see this Dr. X (sorry I'm bad with names) and yup looks like I'm needed to undergo two sessions which should costs me rm500 for each session....... Since I was aching I said yes and thank god I did saved up some money for this purpose just in case.

The first session took like almost two hours. Dr. X was drilling my tooth here and there. I was being drugged for the purpose and even drugged twice since it seems to be my receptor couldn't handle the drug well so I was drugged for the second time in order for the drug to be fully functioned since the first time was insufficient. Dr. X asked me did it hurt, well I felt fine but I couldn't talk properly since my mouth was still numb.

So the second time was like only half an hour. Everything was done perfectly. Couldn't remember the details anymore lol. I'm needed to for another check up session after the RCT (ROOT CANAL TREATMENT)

And my boss later told me that he wants to belanja me half of the cost. Syukurrrrrrr god bless you and your family lah bosssss!

The check up day came. Everything went well and I was told I need tooth crowning but it will be done later if needed. I asked how much it costs. AND HE SAID IT WILL BE RM800. The first time I'll be paying rm700 and later during the second rm150. I was like whuutttttt. Ingat ada duit nak jatuh dari langit ke....... When the nurse in charge asked the date for the next appointment, she told me it can be done right next week. I was like "hehe.. memang lah boleh buat dah next week tapi duit tu I nak kena cari dulu.." and then I politely declined and told her I will call her later to set up the next appointment when I have the money.

Two weeks later and here I am trying to book a session at USIM dental clinic. Apparently they do teeth crowning but at how much the procedure would cost we'll see about that later. They need to look at my tooth first to decide. I just hope I will age gracefully and can live longer and can still live happily and healthily after doing the session conducted by dental students since I'm still single at 28.... 

Strangely I'm into necklaces, and rings, and perfumes, and pretty dangling earrings these days...... These things make me super happy these dayssss.. Oh, and also babies. I guess that's pretty much normal, I think? If it's not, then it's a new norm I guess.. with the covid-19 hmmm........

P.s. my little sister is staying with me. I'm super duper exciteddddd (but I'm also super duper worried about all the bills I am needed to pay now that I am staying at this new place....)

penyakit

I know you feed your ego and your insecurities by downgrading other people. "Eleh, berlagak baik pula kau." Eh hello, at least he's/she's trying. Bila orang tegur sikit, kau tak nak dengar. Kau je betul. Bila orang point out kesalahan kau, kau attack peribadi dia pulak. No wonder lah kawan kau bersilih ganti. Perangai macam p*.

Eh pergi masuk hutan sana kawan dengan ungka je lah. Kita ni, kalau tak boleh senangkan orang, jangan susahkan orang tau. Apa yang tak susahkannya kalau kau dah sakitkan hati orang?

has anyone ever given anything to you? -stevie nicks

I wish one day I could have one. To receive someone's heart. Someone with free will, not the one who comes with knots. And he decides to give it to me out of his own will. His own choice. I wish for that one day to arrive quickly. For my youth and beauty fades with time.

bubb bubb bubblebaaaaathhh

I guess being single (and at least owning a job) at my age is not so bad after all.

just this

Hot cocoaaaaaaaa with homemade marshmallow (mind you I Shopee purchased it, not made it on my own)

Das a biggg glass's. Made it special just for my bubblebath. Uhurhur

burnt cheese-- aglio olio

FAILED! I just started got the hang of using this induction stove and I burnt my olio....... 

Loook. You can't see the burnt garlic since it burnt black and I had to remove it from the plate from getting the gluttony me eating it.....

Don't mind the measuring tape. I'll give it back to the owner after I reallllyyy finish with everything. 

Hekhek.

Wuvyu!

Verdict: I panicked and I forgot to season it..... What..... And then I just added sauce (like a civilised Malay ehem ehem) and ate it with no complaint. Hekhek

Physical CM

 I dont know who to talk to since this is work related.

I just got to know that we have missed one court date on 06.10.2020 since it was a physical CM in Bangi court and I did reply to the given date (by our MOB lawyer) but I didnt put it in the calendar. ya allah negligent nya aku :( ni boss belum tahu lagi, Nasib baik my colleague merangkap my superior got a call from the opponent and she asked him to MOB for us.

I'm not sure whether I could keep up at this moment. 12 months to go. #PrayForDi :(

did my toenaaailssss

Rm45

Rm3 +apron

Rm10 ( I asked for the breathable version of nail polish since it is wudhu free, orly's. Google it up!)

= Rm85.

I like their service! The girl who did my toenails (the only place in Setapak Central which offers you nail service) was really doing her job (asked her name at the cashier and they say her name is Woon) so next time imma try the fancy ones like the Spa or whatever the name is with my gwurrlllfriendssss heheh.

when nobody really needs you

When you realised that all these while you are just filling the voids

lonely weekends

I will be moving out from my old place in a week time and Im still contemplating is this even good for me? I do have close friends in the new area, but I have been staying here for almost 11 years time.... Eh eh poyo lak kau macam nak pindah negara pula kekdahnya lol. oh and one year contract for the house..

No, but seriously. 

Doa yang baik baik je lah. Tuhan tu maha mendengar kan.. 

client

Today we went to see this client and updated him his stuff. While we're with him, he shared with us his wonderful travelling stories which I could only seem to vividly recall right now how I wish to have whatever he has with his family. How lucky his kids and wife are and I couldn't stop feeling happy for him and his family for being blessed with such a happy family. Oh how I wish I would have all the opportunity to have one too!

I just can't stop wishing and praying to grow old with this one person who wouldn't mind, would love and would be very happy to spend the rest of his lifetime with me. 

common denominator

Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with the title, but I'm glad I found my now office. Im learning lots of things. They can adapt with my weaknesses. Penyabar lah diorang ni since I have learnt the fact that I am quite slow with everything (not an excuse to not always put effort being quicker than the usual me ok nad!). Pemurah lagi tak pernah lokek (nad suka makan, yum yumm dan diorang suka share rezeki with meee, god bless their soulsss and rezekiii) I hope me being me is good enough for their business. 

But more than always, i just hope I'm giving them back as much as I am gaining from them. Tapi setakat ni apa yang nampak I am not.. How do I give more? :( 

But in the meantime I will try to be better everyday!

Kekurangan

I have too many weaknesses at work and in a few couple of months soon i will be reaching year 2. I already told my boss that I am resigning next year because I don't think being a lawyer suit me much. Compared to those old days somehow I just got through the day or maybe I am just bored and tired of life. How dare I think of that when the dead want to get their lives and live their lives again right? I think i am losing my motivation for life. I am feeling very lonely in a room full with people. I feel that emptiness whenever i laugh. maybe i just have to start reading quran more often every now and then but nowadays i am always tired and wants to lie down whenever i get the chance to. 

What i can do right now is that to get busy, but i guess it gets worse when i learn that i can't even do light work that well. 

Or maybe i jut need a long break. a long vacation from everyone. everyone has their own lives. with me being gone for a bit, i dont think people would mind kot.

Soon I'll be hitting thirty and i still dont have anyone that can even proudly say to me and everyone around me that he meant everything he says to me, that he loves me genuinely, that i am his life and he wants me to be huge part of his life. That would be great. That would be an honour to me. I guess i am getting tired of waiting. But i guess i could even say maybe i am not the right one for anyone, ergo, here i am, feeling lonely again.

What is wrong with me? There are so many fishes in the sea they say but why. what is wrong with me that nobody good wants me that much? 

And here come these acnes on my face. good god i dont think i can handle this good. I dont even have the money to face this kind of weakness. someone even said they looked like kurap. i havent even really look at them, and i guess it was right, because when i looked in the mirror i see this hideous person with nothing much and no one who really loves that they want to spend time with her without her even asking. and i thought my hair and my scalp are the worst thing ever.

I guess something is really wrong with me after all.   

I am not sure whether i should post this out or not, but since i tell no soul about my blog and even hide it from public, so why not

sad

It has been three days since I lost my laptop charger. Kept thinking about it being left somewhere where nobody sees. Cold. Dark. Alone. Sedihnya... I'm so sorry, charger.......

thank you charger, you have been good to me.

I lost my charger :( feeling so guilty since I hadn't even realised I lost it until I reach Subang Airport. Maybe it's in better hands now.. sedih weh.. bukan senang nak dapat.. and I lost it just like that..

Had to buy a new one since my laptop must always be with me.. I went to the previous shop where the laptop was bought and I almost got tricked into buying a third party charger (where he claimed it was original) for rm280! Siao ey. I told him that I want to go to other shop first to have a look. Immediately he asked for my price and I just put rm190. He said ok and told me the warranty was 3 month when I insisted an original charger from him. Saying only his shop was the only one left with the original charger and quickly open the receipt book to write down. Alhamdulillah my heart said no. And I walked away from the shop and went into ALL IT. Can you believe what I found out? That the original one wont even cost me rm280 lol. And the ALL IT boy told me only third party chargers are available in these hypermarkets. And that it would be better to buy at the hypermarket since the receipt was a printed receipt instead of the one where they need to write down every details one by one. Thank you Google. At least I googled up the price range I'm expected to pay for losing my original charger. I told my story to the ALL IT boy and he told me all the above. Cuba teka how much it costs me? Frikkin sixty five ringgit je ok! Comes with 3 months warranty. Yang penting I chose the same power for the charger to be paired with the laptop. I tried asking for a better charger with longer warranty but the power outage is too high hence is not compatible with my laptop unless I want to fry my laptop(!) eventually. So... Yeah. Thank you adik adik ALL IT.

I almost. Alllmost wanted to blame the race of the seller. (what a sly seller kan??) When I was waiting for my turn to pay for the parking ticket there was this guy before me was rushing and he really seem in a rush when he got to the door and turned to me and said I could get the parking ticket for free if I show my receipt buying things in the Low Yat at the ticket counter next to the elevator. He didn't have to do that, he didn't even gain anything even if he does, but why did he? Alhamdulillah I saved my portion for the parking ticket. 

So I was thinking to myself, it's on you to decide whether to do or not to do, there is no one to blame for the choice that YOU, YOURSELF make for your own life since it will affect YOUR lives. There may be a few variables which would affect your way of thinking, but in the end, it's the choice you make that determines your steps in this world. 

Until it happens, good, bad, who knows?

The island

No. Not Gilligan's Island. Redang. I really wanted to go to my office trip since I never been to Pulau Redang........ But then work life came crushing and swooped me away from it :(

 

Now with the flight ticket bought, I don't really care anymore whether it's hearing or case management. It's not as if I could just cancel it off anytime now right...... I would be scolded (and be travelling alone in Kelantan!) in front of other people. Boss said we are going some other place after this Redang trip. Hmm... Let's just doa yang baik baik, wait, and see....

I was soooo excited for the trip I even bought two new swimsuit sets!. I even bought swimming goggles with prescription lenses. I almost bought full faced snorkelling goggles tauuuu eiii. Patutla dah hampir hampir nak dekat trip ni somehow I lost interest a bit. Macam pelik juga but oh well.

Didn't think or show much expression in front of others since it will just be making me a lot more sad and upset than I already am.. Dah la tak dapat pergi, kena sambung kerja pulak... But I guess look on the bright side, Di! And this is just me being too soft with myself. Hang ada kerja kot... Masih dapat gaji penuh.. Seniors semua baik dan suka bagi aku makan best best. So many people out there who gets pay cuts, forced to retire, forced to resign, bad and toxic working environment.... First world problem huh

Dah la my cuti the other day got cancelled I couldn't even go to my Penang trip with the girls. Last last bukan aku pun yang hadir untuk kes tu oh my god I was like whatdeheck....asdfghnxndndnfhfhfjfbfhdusoslshdyzyh

rumah sewa oh rumah sewa

Looks like I need to find a new house to rent.. We just had an office meeting and my boss told us that he'll be fixing a travel allowance for me since this pay-per-travel isn't working best financially.

Hmm... Truthfully kan... If only I were an asset to the office kan... If that was the case, he wouldn't mind I'd say. Tapi Aku hanya seekor ikan... Oh well

I'm googling stuff and saw this Speedhome. Doesn't need deposit but I need to pay extra for the insurance stuff thingy since they are insuring the landlord and tenants as well. What i understand from the website is that you only need to pay extra for the first time you're entering your first house, and then the following month you only need to pay for the rent house (lah kot?)

I'm quite sad thinking I need to leave my present house since the landlord, the parking spot, the surrounding, the JMB, are all the things I have grown accustomed. Hmmm.... 

The traffic is now quite a hassle for everyday trip for me even though I always wake up early. Time. I need to wake up very early to get ready now that I need an hour at least to get to the office. Minyak. My myvi drinks a lot (like the owner la heheh) and also the toll pergi balik dah rm10 lebih. Not forgetting the office parking that needs to be paid daily (min. Rm7 - max RM10). 

Maybe it's for the best.....?

On another note, 

This one took almost rm1000 out of me since Bebo been sounding weird and couldn't take more than three persons in the car without bumping the roadbump harshly. Alhamdulillah I managed to negotiate with my dad to prolong things so that he'd pay for my insurance and roadtax at least until next year. I'm really living my life this year since next year I need to really start 'ikat perut' and just survive unless I move back to my kampong. Heheh.

I don't think this lawyering is working for me. Being PA is, maybe not lawyering. I have yet to find any lawyer skill of mine that could really benefit my office and I dread that every single day. I'm just being extra careful with myself, just so that it won't pressure me enough to encourage me to do stupid stuff. Don't get me wrong. Pressure is good, it builds you. But i find myself everyday at the intersection where I am trying so f hard not to go back where rainbows and smiles and food and love won't bring me back to the ground anymore. 

Repair

New heels who dis

New heels for the shoes costs me rm80! (tambah 9.90 lagi dah harga kasut lol) But I really really like this shoessss. Sapa suruh Bata tak keluarkan lagi kasut macam ni?? I could've bought my 2nd and 3rd court shoes but y yu du disss to me Bata??!!!!

afidavit penyampaian

I missed my dad's flight. Rancangnya pukul 5 dah patut gerak dari shah alam, tapi disebabkan kakak kerani ada buat silap sikit masa sediakan sijil ekshibit, aku gak lah yang kena drag.... Hari ni alhamdulillah boss mood baik, so dia tak marah aku. Cumanya itu lah.. aku malas sebab dah berapa lama dah asyik buat silap. selama ni boleh cover sesama sendiri, but i guess today was the day i turned purple :( Punca? Because she made me missed my dad's flight. Salah siapa? Salah sendiri sebab tak tegur dari awal lagi. As a sister, kakak kerani ni okay je. tapi as a clerk  mungkin boleh improve lagi. Don't get me wrong, everyone should self-improve themselves, but not everyone think so. Some people just got comfortable and settle down that they don't feel the need to do so. Maybe time does that to you.. But then you must get up and fight it! Kalau tidak, kau hidup sekadar hidup je. Apa makna hidup kau? Tak tahu? Cari lah. Kudrat ada lagi, kesihatan alhamdulillah ok, dah kenapa kau nak hidup macam orang umur 80 tahun? In fact, I bet 80-year-old are living their own lives way better than you. Ha ni mula lah nak merepek. 

Aku cuma nak cakap I am so disappointed with myself for not containing my anger from the work whatsapp group. Mesti kakak tu pelik. dia buat salah minor je kot pehal aku nak mengamuk (mengamuk ke lol) sampai gitu. Padahal aku baru call dia petang tadi siap suruh kirim salam mak dia lagi kot. Atau mungkin double standard yang boss aku selalu maki aku kalau aku buat salah (sebab aku belajar benda ni) dan dia tak kena (sebab bukan bidang dia) sebab ini bukan bidang dia. tapi... tak adil kot... dia dah nak masuk lima tahun kerja... so kalau kerja yang sepatutnya dia boleh settle, aku juga kena buat sebab tak nak tersilap apa-apa/tak sempat/tak percaya sewaktu aku sibuk buat kerja lain, ini tak adil lah kan... Atau mungkin litigasi ini bukan bidang aku. Haram tak tenang hidup minggu tu kalau ada kerja. Nak tidur pun rasa serba salah. The worry. Is it really worth it? Am I doing this right? Is this the right place for me? If not, where should I ended up going? I am starting to feel really lonely in this path...

tilam baru, cadar baru, who dis?

Walaupun beberapa Hari ni kerja macam loca, balik balik nampak katil yang cute ni pun dah rasa bahagia (':

pressing day

Today was such a test for me. The car that I drove (my sister's new Bezza 2020) was hit by another person. That person is a contract worker. said he only had rm150 when he gathered some from his two other friends. 

I was on my way to KL court when it happened. Everything happened so fast I only remembered being spun and managed to hit the brake before the road divider greeted me and the car. Alhamdulillah.

When I get there (the court), I took some time to muster all the confidence to face the Yang Arif. I had only had in chamber sessions before and of all (limited) my experiences, I only met with the nicest judges. But this one I don't know whether that accident had knocked out my senses, or I'm just plain stupid, I just didn't say much. The judge was drilling (calmly) to get answers from me but I couldn't say anything other than "nothing to add, Yang Arif". But the opponent was the nicest and taught me a lot in her calmness. She's quite chirpy but she's alright. Said to me it happens to everyone. The jitter being in front of Yang Arif. Oh well.

My dad was and is still my hero for the day. He was the one who told me to do whatever that needs to be done. When I was quite insensible from being spun around. 

Nina. Who helped me a lot with the car stuff. Providing me information on where to get good deals and the best shops. 

Hafiz. Who came alll the way and took me out when I said I couldn't drive to make police report. Alas who knows he would come and fed me mamak (it was almost 12am, mind you!)

And Jie. With cute little Adam and her superb skill of understanding of me rushing here and there.

And also my boss. For offering to pay for the repair. 

God bless their souls.

bagbag bagbag

Lo and behold, 

Finally I got myself a cool luggage bag!

Now I can return back the one that my parents lent to me yearss ago heheh.

This is one of those days where I succumbed to despair. I fucking hate seeing myself in the mirror, in the picture. 

Everyone is so pretty.

Everyone belongs to somebody.

What is wrong with me?

EDITED: Or maybe they mowing the grass got something to do with this. I couldn't sleep after subuh, was waiting for subuh to end, and this grass massacre happened. Bodo la potong rumput hari biasa tak boleh ke.

barang + melaka

Baru pikir pasal nak pindahkan barang sambil baca kes pun dah pening. Nampak tak laluan ke litigation tu macam mana?

Barang tak banyak pun. Rasanya ada satu meja, satu kerusi, satu kotak dan satu oven untuk diangkat.

Kalau aku kuat, maleh dah nak minta tolong orang lain. Angkat sendiri je. Dah tulang lak tak normal. Lol. Ujian je semua ni. Nasib TheLorry ada. Tu pun kalau tak ada duit lebih sikit (berkat banyak attend meeting gak), babai lah ko wahai barang-barang.

EDITED: alhamdulillah god bless her soul my colleague helped me with my stuff thank god

Melaka

Tak sangka boss aku yang muka ganas tu suka sightseeing malam malam boleh pi bantai melawat tempat bersejarah A Famosa lah bagai sambil jalan jalan di malam hari. 

werk it werk

I think my collegue really deserves a raise.

She always has a hectic work schedule but still she could remains calm af.

no one deserves a good raise other than her. 

She's married but she could still manage everything!

While me... I'm doing research on CIPAA and af i dont get it but i could feel my temperature rising looking at what my superior asked my colleague to do.

p.s. no i dont think i would ask for a raise this time. maybe when one of us is out then i will consider asking. or quitting, since I noticed myself i am not even doing a good job while I'm here. I am doing as much as I can to improve. i dont want to sink into "I'm just built this way". feels like im giving up on myself.

Will let you know when I really, really have to give up. Later!

second chance

Maybe since I have changed the way I see things a bit (Thanks to Izzati! yayy), today I started doing my job better. i listened better, focused better, and I am also feeling better since I 'tweaked' my confidence level a bit. hehe. hopefully I'll be back to my brighter and more positive of a person.

Sunday with Izzati

Yesterday was fun!!

I spent my Sunday well with Izzati. Rinduuuuu sebab lama tak lepakkk aaaaaaa. The food was good in Naj & Belle. (Thanks to Za for introducing the place to meee) She birthdaytreat-ed me walaupun my birthday was in January heheheh.

Sooo... After a long talk with Izzati. I decided not to go on with my stupid plan which is to resign since the virus is still circulating and how difficult it is nowadays to find good boss and good work environment.

Lagipun savings I pun sikit sangat lagi. How is it possible to live in Penang without any 6 months saving kan kurang kurang pun? Not forgetting the fact how limited my experience is..... 

And so! The dayyyy is savedddd. Thankss to the Powerpuff.. eh. Izzatiii

dear life partner (if there is one out there for me)

There's so many things I would love to do with you. But you never showed up. And my memory isn't that good anymore these days. I'm easier to let go things I'm hoping for when I totally forget about it.

Kyochon Hana night

Most of the good times aren't recorded. Macam semalam. Lepas meeting kitorang lepak tiga orang sama sama. Pindah pindah tempat since tempat pertama hot seats: Kyochon (orang tak putus putus datang) 

Ingat nak lepak IKEA Cafe for desserts tapi sebab kitorang tiga orang (Dan tempat Tu hanya boleh duduk dua2 orang je satu meja. Or satu orang kat side table) kitorang ke Hana Sushi which is my most favourite place hehehehe.

I pray that the feelings would stay forever the same with these people. Tenang je kita lepak sama sama. And when I woke up this morning, my skin glows kemain ok. So last night was the few nights which I really enjoyed. Thank you God for them. But still I can't make myself get used to this.. they deserve better. I'm trying and still.. 

Jealous

Penatlah jealous jealous nih. You are not even mine. If I could live my life without being jealous before, whats stopping me now kan?

Travel

Maybe I should be reeeeally careful with my savings starting this month since I want to start anew next year. That is so going to cost a lot of money

Also, I really want to go travelling there. I just put a stop to my bucket list (and my heart. Ongmlayu says your baju Di badan sendiri. Getting involved with friends whom are so not your league is sad when you are the one who's at the lesser end) since I love eating so much.

the episode where I was so nervous I need to attend cm tomorrow and also nervous what's going to happen next in season 10 Friends

WHAT. THE. HELL.

JOEY WENT BACK TO THE ROOM AND KISSED HER???? WHAT WHAT WHAT

EDITED: ceh. Penat penat nervous, cm rupanya e review. The line even sucks there zzzzzz. But we had Domino's pizza yay!

coconut candy rush rush

Walaupun sekarang tengah trending #norushchallenge. Aku nak rush rush jugak sebab dah lama teringin nak cuba buat. Balik nanti Kita tengok macam mana hasilnya.

koyok night

I hate first day of period. And sometimes it could extend itself to day three. Or jumpscare me on day five. 

All I want now is just to snuggle, have warm big mug of any tea, and you to snuggle with next to me. Will there ever be such a person who would do that for me willingly? Patiently? Every month for the rest of our lives?

And you. I must stop myself. not thinking about you anymore.

covEid POKAI 2020

I think this month I really splurged myself out.

I got all my family members their duit Raya, I bought my dad his birthday present (I used courier, hope it finds him safely and likes it that it's practical), a cute black necktie (next time I'll buy a blue one pula! tengok prestasi hmm hmm), and I even managed to give out duit Raya to a couple of my friends from the leftover! Alhamdulillah bukan selalu dapat rasa financially liberating ni lol.

Lastly I even got myself a hair dryer. finally! Mulanya ingat nak beli mattress sebab asyik sakit belakang dan tak nyenyak tido i ended up sleeping most of the time in the living room couch tapi takpelah. inshallah ada rezeki lain. mana tahu dapat file lumayan ke lepas ni kan.

i got it at Harvey Norman Ikano after checking out Best Denki at 1 Utama. cheaper than what I had before, but the price's kinda good. I even added rm17( + another 2 years warranty I think) for warranty. Let's see how it goes.

P.s. And I'm finally back bitchinnnnnn with Hafiz M yayyyyyyy

P.p.s. P O K A I ady

P.p.p.s. somebody received his lucky black tie happily heheh

of kek gula hangus and covEid 2020

First try hangus. Mom was really confident i mistakenly used tepung beras instead of tepung gandum since theyre sitting side by side but noooo.. i really checkkkedddd aaaaa. i mightve overbaked it. tu je. but bunbun was so nice she said the taste was still alright and couldnt stop eating it even though i asked her to stop eating kek tayar kereta. ishhh

Esoknya i made another. Second try yayy jadiii. Kita kasi rehat 1 jam 30 minit sahaja (30 minit ttu pun sebab i turned on oven but didnt exactly switched it on since i only ended up turning on on the oven light lol apa bendaa deeee) Baked at 160 degree for 40 minutes. Hakim asked me not to proceed another 5 minutes since it already looked so 'baked' (lol).

Walaupun masa nak caramelised gula tu habissss gula meruap naik sampai dapur flooded a bit (thousand thanks to bunbun aaaa she helped me a lot. patiently. aaaaaaa) 

I have the best family in the world. :') mom just called me up for subuh. This morning she said she went to my room to wake me up. I could hear her voice trembles. Aaaaaaa whyyyyy. Mata aku masuk habuk oiiii. 

Homesick :'(

it has never been described better

ifthor

Berbuka puasa with Za's sisters

za really likes their cakes. But they haven't been accepting walk-in customers yet

no egg cupcake

Easy cupcake

Step 1

Step 2

Combine minyak masak and susu pekat into the batter

Step 3

Step 4

Let it cool in the oven for an hour. I left the over door slightly ajar.

Step 5

Oh btw

the runner just came by. Woohoo

just applied for a refund for my return ticket to go back home.

heated sahur

well no i am not referring to the lauk sahur. But it's my mom. I was sad I could not balik kampung awal since this MCO takes place. And then the client does not make it easier for me. Tiba tiba my mom never thought better of me. She said i sengaja tak nak balik raya. Am i that terrible? Really? I am tired of being thought bad of. Really. You give people chance to start again but they dont seem to be doing the same to you. Really? Teruk sangat ke aku ni? I couldnt stop but to think if it was any of my younger siblings this wont happen. Havent you done enough damage to me? 

Thankfully my dad took over and helped me with what needs to be done. That's it. When people have problem, you lead them pathways, instead of blocking them with your emotions. I understand. Youre sad when i said i couldnt go back. But please.. again, you hurt me with the edges of your sharp words. I may seem like silly all the time, but that's better rather than walking as a cold bitch you've made me become one before. You'll never understand the impact of the sort of mental abuse you gave me in my younger years and how much I was willing to throw every single thing when i learnt what dad did to you. But I guess the lamb is just a lamb. and a lion is just a lion since a lion would never understand what terrified really means to a lamb. 

please forgive me god for i have feelings too and i cant always brush it off

Tribbiani and Monica

I remembered how gorgeous Monica's hair in episode 1 of season 8 when I was shocked looking at her now-not-so-red-hair anymore AND how fast I watched Friends that I realised now that Im at episode 20 of it. Woahhh. I think I took Joey's despair too seriously.

shell out sayoq

Trying out Khairulaming's recipe! Tiba tiba teringinnnnn sangaattttt.

minyak letak lebih ciked. Bila minyak dah panas baru tuang bahan yang telah dikisar tadi. Agitchew

gaul gaul Dalam 6-7mins lepastu tutup api. Siap daaa. Sayur kan. So takyah masak lama nau. 

VERDICT: Bestttttt!! I should've added terung earlier ughh. But the other veggies and udang were greatttt

ciskek hanguih

sebelum

selepas. 

mixing up

Lenguh siot tangann. Ada duit lebih nanti patut invest untuk mixer Yang bagus

oleh sebab recipe kata sampai ada soft peak je, so I did as I was told

cream cheese belum cair betul ughhh stressss

baking itttt

burntttttttt

it looks a little burnt but my friend said it tastes great! But I couldn't eat it since it's too sweet. Siap pening kepala wehhhh. iCry

Outing in Setapak

My friend belanja-ed me thisssss. Domo arigatouuuuuuu N!! 

onde onde buah melaka

courtesy kakak office

shouldve put a lot more

green batch

pink batch

cut cut cut. Sayang kacip takde. Lenguh potong pakai pisau deyyy

kasi tabur tepung supaya tak melekat lekat

ha ha ha tak berseni langsunggg 

sebelum mula menguli tu sediakan dulu air untuk merebus

pink batch done

my first baby onde onde ('-:

golek golek Dalam mangkuk

DONEEEE