Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Last Sunday

On Saturday my Boss asked me to prepare all the document for two new matters beforehand. 

Monday morning, all was done. Bananas and bread on the table, new kettle at the kitchen. Food supply in the pantry. Last but not least, the folders prepared on his table. How did I pull that? Well, easy. Sacrificed my Sunday.

I did everything on Sunday, except for the food supply in the pantry where I got to do that on Friday with the help of my colleague (thank god for her and her monies, muahahahhh).

Think it's draining me waking up early in the morning everyday. These days my shift starts very early and ends at 5pm if everything is in check. Well I am doing dual job without any extra pay. Should've be more firm on that. Should've charged more for my extra time. But I have overwrite it with the leniency of getting back early everyday. And free lunches too! What more could I ask kan? Alhamdulillah all should be well.

Sometimes I feel bad for not having sufficient time to dedicate for lawyer job when I have to give way to my non-lawyer job. But what to do.. times are hard these days. Can't be picky.

Sunday, January 17, 2021

privilege

Merely having the option to choose is a privilege.

Whether to do or not to do
Whether to be or not to be
Whether to spend money or not to spend
Whether to spend or to keep
Whether to love or not
Whether to be in love or not to be in love
Whether to keep on going or to stop here
Whether to opt that this is really worth it or not
Whether to see or put on blind eyes
Whether to listen or put off the ears
Whether to live or not

I'm starting to overthink. Good night.

Saturday, January 16, 2021

allergy

Well I'm typing this down with redness for the whole skin exposed after consuming prawns. Serves me right since I'm still stubborn to consume it knowing the fact that I shan't......

Should've taken my medicine first before engulfing the prawns but no Di was perfectly confident that the prawns won't strike her since they were new. So she thought....

It started on the face. Getting warm, as if a few hundreds of mosquitoes take turn to suck blood leaving only the itchiness for you to bear... 

When I took the medicine (maybe twas too late for that) the one on the forehead and cheeks disappear, but it already went to both my forearms and thighs and my back, leaving me feeling like a puppy in itch. 
Usually it will take time for it to subside. Maybe an hour or two. Until then I shall suffer in silence......

A day before MCO 2.0

My friend hurriedly went for a manicure and facial since tomorrow mco 2.0 starts. well I wish I couldve gone with her too.. but now since ive just moved into my new place, my monies are almost gone due to the commitment I owe for the house. 😞 

She just told my Boss that I couldn't come since I need to keep monies aside for my kucen. God knows how embarrassed i was at that time. I was a little bit angry too to her. What's the need of her telling my Boss that? Why can't she try to put herself that it is such a shame to me that I don't have th emoney to have anymore, since now I have to be more frugal than ever (and be better at savings too) since I moved into my new place? 

Since I work here I have learned the hard way of the need to put some money aside. Plus, my sister is staying with me. I would love to provide as much as I could during her stay. For office use. For sudden gas/touchngo/shopee money if my Boss decided that he wants/needs something. For court use/ssm/whatever shit that needs us to pay it online right there and then. These day there aren't so much travelling expenses to claim for anymore...

Detergent and Softener. Dove showel gel. Used to buy that maybe once in two months (interchangeably with my skincare or my other needs/clothes/skincare products. would last three, if my Boss would suddenly offered to pay for my laundry if I send/pick it up at the same laundromat as him. Nowadays I  need to buy them every month which, surprise, surprise, it would be obvious that I have to put prioritize my expenses like groceries for instance. 

I hate being frugal. It takes over me, to be less fun and less adventurous. But I thank god for her too. For always sharing whatever rezq that she has and never have been so meticulous with me about monies. But I always, always try to pay her back in any kinds of way that I could whenever I can. Setiap hari tau dia belanja aku makan. I wish I have so much rezeki that I could also do the same for her without fail. Just like she does for me. Luckily good food makes me happy. SOOO MUCH. Very uplifting effect. since I cant do much for my skin nor my body anymore. My sister do helps once in a while, but I fucking hate it if some thing which is considered to be necessities, and then I fail to provide. Just makes you feel the worst of yourself.

Hair scalp is so bad. I dont think long hair works for me. Been so long since i keep long hair, but the soonest my often-go-to-place-if-you-mean-going-there-twice-a-year-is-often salon opens, I'll just have to get rid of it. Hair fall drives me crazy even though it's normal. Well.. It's not normal anymore if you need to scratch your head off every 5 minutes, and the scratch brings out the worst snowfall and hairfall every single time, Karen. Maybe shaving it off or a buzz cut would make it better. I don't know. I hate my hair condition very badly.

Different people, different concerns. She's lucky she seldom has the need to buy new clothes or even has the need to buy different kind of skincare products that actually works for her skin. and when the only thing that works on your skin is the more expensive range kind of products. I used to be like her. Not giving the fuck to get new clothes, new this and that. To hell with skincare products. Because I don't fucking need it. Fucking hate it that I could've spent all that money for food instead. I used to be born with great skin, but nowadays.. I dont know. It gets worse and difficult to maintain. I need to rub on lotion without fail or there will be something flaky appearing on my skin. supplements could've done a lot better for me but it costs a fortune.... i guess aging and hormones does that to you. These days I am more sensitive than ever. Physically and mentally. It also grows on me to be able to buy my own new clothes, good skincare products, and better food.

Just in case we need extra money? Yeah. My tooth does not help either. But at least, I still have the privilege to choose and not being in a situation where I don't even have any choice and that, my friend,  is still a blessing for me. Thank you God.

I am so failing this class of adulting 101.

p/s: Gather your thoughts well. Put priorities first, even if it's driving you crazy. Necessities.

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Kakak office :(

The company had to say goodbye to this kakak office. She has been so nice, such a sister to me. Bought me birthday presents. Comforted me when things went wrong (or just scared me off zzzz)

We had a good dinner together. All three of us at Seoul Nami before 2020 ended. The grilled food was sooo  frikkinnnn goooooddd but the price----ugh makes me want to take a jump.... But again I repeat, they were SOOOO goood. Thank you Kakak office...