there would be so much of look up to.
she will be the very much first sister and we had to make such example out of her. So many expectations must be fulfilled. now with me you must believe that since I'm not such a bright myself, tha bar has been set quite low for the other siblings.
She is the very sister i would go run and tell my problems to because, most of the times she'll give out the most brilliant solution or the best way out from her eyes (and sometimes the best, like-she-could-see-it-from-our-parents-eyes)
She's so perfect i always thankful to god for letting me be her elder sister. sometimes i also think i don't deserve these people i called siblings.
but sometimes too, parents have to come and ruin it for us. not our mom, she tried her hardest (god bless you mom) to love her children equally, occasionally i just HAD to remind myself that my mom is just a human being. and favouritism is such a human thing to do. yes she loves our brother quite dearly. being her hope (of bein the heir of the family of course. such an asian thing to do)
but our dad, i could see it so clearly that he prefers my sister out from us four. she's brilliant, her CGPA up sky high, she's pretty (my ex used to tell me that), she got the money without being questioned too much (this, we know by heart she's quite a splurge at heart,Lol) yet my dad never has the heart to tell her off.. she even get to be honest to tell things to my parents before they flipping out! now that's quite a superpower let me tell you
with me, though i used to not do wrong things (things that would make they lost trust in me), meh. it's the same. they wont even trust me. I could never get to go somewhere without even lying. Oh well, i've adapted to that. A girl's gotta live by keeping her sanity intact you know... and maybe if you could stop referring to ME every time any of the siblings try to joke with our mom, i would get blame definitely. "Oh dah pandai menipu? Nak jadi kakak dah sekarang?"
Mind you. we were doing great. my sister just decided to usik her. then she gon be like just decided to sizzle at the tip of the iceberg making me lose my patience by saying that. TIBA TIBA JE. ya rabbi sabar je lah.
how can parents be let to be proud without even their parents teaching them anything? How are we not growing each other up?
My parents don't seem to grasp the concept of children making mistakes of their own so they could understood what lifens about. Yes parents are the greatest lifesaver. But stopping me from living isnt going to stop me from dying!
but i try to believe that god is giving me for things i need. and i guess for now they are good enough for me. Thank you God. now please just let me start living by letting my parents cutting me up some slacks, eh?
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