Fa inna ma'al usri yusrho?

 It's like..

Well, the world would still keep spinning whether you're there or not.

Maybe today is one of the day where I really wish I have someone I could really bare my soul too. I just want to cry and cry at him. And I really wish it was him. Only him. No one else.

I guess he is only a human, after all. And he is really at his lowest right now. Maybe this is where God says to me (if he could speak directly to me),"Look, this is why I haven't really have a plan of you with anybody else yet."

I don't think I can do this anymore.

I have never have doubt in my God. But I am such a lowlife servant. Am I even worthy to be born into this world?

Should I walk away from here, and run as far as I can?

me'nate

My family was here for the weekend! As we all know, my parents will move quite near us within the next two weeks.

My dad got promoted and to be promoted, he needs to move to Seremban. The house given was a mess. I can only pray my dad's house affairs can be resolved quickly and with ease. I won't write about it here since it was such a let down, but please pray so that our family could live together happily, at least until my dad retires..

And my superior is gone for a few days. His mother fell ill and was readmitted to the Hospital. O Allah, The Most Merciful, The Healer, The All-Hearing.... please grant her much comfort and ease in order for her to fight her illness...

And alhamdulillah my superior belanja-ed me this cool tumbler! I've tested its capability to hold hot water and until 4pm the water is still suam! Not bad for a pretty face ehhh..

And also look! A friend got me this! Right when my bag decided to betray me just after two weeks (jenis bawa barang tak ingat dunia...)

ta-da!

He said he never got me anything so he decided to get me this bag...... Semoga murah rezeki selaluuu. Tak belanja aku beg ni pun aku dah doakan kau, kawan!

And this shoes... My favourite shoes... Finally I had to let it go... Thank you for your service ..

run and drive

I escaped from my job today. I just drove and drove. Found myself in Shah Alam. Maybe I had panic attack. Maybe I do have some negative thoughts. Against whatever happened between my little sister and my mom. And my dad. Maybe I don't want my sister to end up like me. Damaged like I am now. Maybe I hate myself. For not being clever enough. For not being bright enough. As much as my ex-colleague is. And that's why she is one of the partners now. And I'm here, still being scared of commitment and talking to clients, alone. 

I think I got better when I get to speak with Jie. Been sooo long since we had a chance to chatttt. Aaaaaaaaaafhdjdkkdlsl. Finally I get to give Adam the book on Dinosaur. Yayyy. I hope he'll really enjoy ittt.

Then I went to sweat my body off. Such a productiveeee dayyy.