Cuba teka

Cuba teka siapa baru beli cermin mata baruuuuu 😋

Tempting betul lenses yang provide extra comfort for night vision tu. Tapi nak kena top up hampir rm200. Just for the lenses! Gilo!

But then I terdetik nak beli pun sebab nampak rm89 je frame dan lens.... Hukhuk. So I paid for rm139 (plus rm50 lens upgrade sebab aku ada silau) je la....

girllllllsss night outtt

 

Belanja-ed my closest girlfriend for good luck at his new workplace!!

The steak was so-so... But the vegetables made up for it. Mahai saja... NY Steak Shack got the better of jt. Sorry la cheq tak sesuai mahai mahai. And they don't have it there at 1 Utama lak. 

But the company was nice so that's that.

Kelakar

Kelakar pulak bila tengok senarai drafts blogpost aku berkenaan kahwin. Soooooo 2017.

Be better, do better, Di.

Cant believe I am so easy to be stressed out. Ashamed of myself that that thing is so easy and I messed it up. What kind of a lawyer I am. Familiarity breed contempt. I must do something. I am so familiar with my colleague and boss that I am taking them and my job a little tad too lightly.

Sweet dreams

You should've been one of those nights where I wake up in the morning making me feel happy and content. You should've been that. 

But you didn't.

🌸🌸

I thank you God for letting me have the best siblings in the whole entire universe

I think I've talked about this

Ikhlas dan pandai jaga hati kita.

I wish I could be one and could find one.

Kalau hati itu ikhlas,

God will light your path to them.

For if they can't see it,

Well perhaps their path are meant not to cross yours for long.

Katanya percaya lagi penting dari cinta.

Apa benar?

Yes. Because will you give your heart away if you don't trust them?

My answer is yes. 

Kamu percaya sama dia. What made you?

The self. Theirs or yours?

Maybe both.

You can choose who to trust, but you can never choose when to fall in love or who to fall for.

But you can always choose to pick yourself up.

You cannot control other people.

But please. Be in possession of your own heart.

Try you must. The only thing you can control is your heart. 

Love yourself. Surround yourself with people who makes you content. People who stops you from stopping your own veins. People who really take their precious time to tell you that they love you. Maybe not in the way you want, but learn. 

Learn that the language of love is different to one another. Some people convey their love through words, some through actions, but it doesn't mean they love you any lesser when you don't get the way you wanted them to love you. Start feeling it with your heart. 

Some people are not good with words. And when they say it out loud, it doesn't seem convincing. But always, trust your heart. Feel them with your heart. In order to see with your heart, you must at least have some faith in yourself first. Stop having doubts in yourself. Have faith in people you love.

And from there, everything should fall into place. 

At least that's what keeping me alive today.

If it doesn't, start again. Smell the roses, look up the skies, find peace in babies smiles, do whatever it takes to make you feel alive again.

But please, pick yourself up when you realise that your fall is going to cost you a lifetime. Quickly. Or you will sink. Slowly, but surely.

You want to risk everything? 

Or you find it worthwhile? 

Or you simply don't? 

Still. Your call.

Images source: twitter 

I'll be your shoulder if you be mine

Awwwwww I want thisssssss

Even after 45 years of marriage, Dr Khairuddin and Khairiah say 'I love you' all the time.

“I still love her. I still think she is beautiful and cute. Sometimes I get angry with her but that’s part of the relationship.

“The important thing to remember is when you love someone, you have to learn to overlook things. If things don’t meet your expectations, you must accept and adapt. And you must embrace imperfection in all its guises. But to me, she is perfect. I love you,” he says as he reaches for her hand.

He, Khairiah points out, is the romantic in their relationship. His job saw him travelling quite a lot and he’d always insist that she accompanied him on the trips.

“I’d miss my wife too much otherwise. I am not very good on my own,” he says.

She adds: “There was once when I could not go with him and it so happened, that trip fell on my birthday. The doorbell rang that night and I found two men with guitars serenading me. They sang Are You Lonesome Tonight?... he had arranged that,” she relates. “Although I must complain that he hasn’t taken me for a movie or play in quite some time.”

The most important thing in a marriage, they both agree, is love.

“These days, when I wake up in the morning, I look over at him and watch him sleep. And I think about our life together and all that we have been through and when he wakes up, I tell him I love him. When you are younger, you take each other for granted. You don’t appreciate (each other). When you are our age you have this realisation. Love is like that, I suppose,” she says. 

Read more:

https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/family/2020/02/14/they-got-a-second-chance-at-love-and-now-they039ve-been-married-45-years#.XkY_CacJmq0.twitter

reasonable

I have made myself so convenient for you by now. With the idea of not staying for long. And I regret that now.

He's no you. Nor him. Nor even him.

The Misadventures of trying to find the same feelings I felt when I was with you. 

Mama

Yeah we used to call her that once.
Until one day little nad heard from her Ustazah that it was more afdhal if we were to call our mom as Ibu. KAHKAHKAH

and there was no turning back.


Now it's Ibu.
My mom was a very, very difficult to approach. I always find myself far from her back when I was little. My dad was hardly home since he always had to attend 'operasi' given it's a part of his job. Soooo I was very close with Kak Siti our domestic helper. She went back Indonesia to get married after almost ten years giving her service to our family. 

My mom. Now she changed quite a lot since then. She's slimmer, she enjoys her life more, she became more understanding, she became more attentive, more loving.... I really enjoy being her kid now lah pendek kata. 

Moms do have this superpower. She just knows it when I'm having issues with my personal life. I always keep it to myself since she too has her own problem to attend to. But it won't hurt sharing a few things so that she would know everything is alright with me. 

Just sometimes I wish hard that I am a better daughter to her. Sometimes I just had to make space in order to keep my own sanity intact. When she cries, I cry. Silently. All tough on the phone. Left with none the moment I hang up. 

Like this one day I cried because I miss somebody badly. Or something happened but I chose not to tell anyone since it was petty. Or because somebody is happier without me. Well you couldn't just call them/him to tell him that kan. I just couldn't. So I always ended up crying it out and loud. Theeeen out of nowhere she would call me up. Uh oh. Had to pick up the calls lah kan. Justtt had to do make up some white lies. They are always coincidental. The calls. So I don't want to paint any picture to her that im not happy here. It won't justify everything. So I would always pick up her calls and smiles through my tears.

After all, this is my choice. 

This is my own design. 

Bear with it.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I would DIEEEE for any jewelleries at this age.

But books are cuter. And cheaper. and easier to get access to. I'm cheap liddat (insert emoji)

Still have sooo many books but one book equates to one flower. in an imaginary garden of mine. with you in it. 

Look what somebody gave meeeee.

Looks cute. (Maybe)

HAHAHAHA

kewlllllllll

(secretly my favourite) I WANT TO START USING ITTTTT TAPI SAYANGGGGGGGGGGGG GAHHHHHHHHHHHH

wove you. ❤️

I did it!!

Today I finally get to help out other people yayyyy~

My blood was not thick enough, underweight, didn't have sufficient vitamin, all these were among the reasons I got rejected to donate my blood. I didn't mind since they could be blessing in disguise, but today I finally did it!! And I got to know my blood type. It's AB! Who's with meeeeee? Put your hands upppp

I get to donate 350ml (umm maybe? I dunno the unit) for Hospital Seremban. Was quite nervous but I just closed my eyes and prayed so that everything would be fine and I get to help out people with my blood this time. 

God bless everything was such a breeze. The nurses were nice enough (maybe because it was my first time donating? Hehe jk all nurses I met so far are nice peopleeee) 

And I mistakenly informed the doctor when she asked me (among other questions)

D: do you have a partner right now?

Me: Yes.

And she asked how many were there before this one?

Me: Just this one. (innocent kan HAHAHAHA)

When they finished withdrawing my blood I suddenly realised that they might not be common questions. I think she meant it sexually.(?) I told my bro about it and he went "HAAAAA?" and proceed to laugh because the doctor was definitely referring to any physical (sexual) relationship I'm having right now and I wasn't bright enough to realise it earlier..... Apa benda.....

Ugh. But never mind. All should be fine since I don't sleep around okaaayyyy

The nurse patiently explained to me that since I'm a first-timer, they would only get 350ml from me. The person who's lying next to me was maybe a regular since the nurses were quite cheering for the amount of the blood that she produce (ye ke. Aku pun tak sure lol)

It didn't take too much of time of mine. All was done under 20mins, and that should include the time I'm needed to rest after the blood withdrawal. Habis je nurse suruh pergi minum teh o panas yang disediakan. I asked her if it's ok to buy The Alley since it was just right next to the blood place. She said no problem but it should be quicker for me to drink first before buying next door. Went to the water dispenser and got myself a nice teh o panas. Niceeeeee. So warmmmm. Drunk it and later little bro came running (k tipu) with a cup of The Alley crème brulée ehek ehek.

Aaaand here's some photos that I considered to be fun to look into!

And look which blood type I belong to???

i don't know why tapi rasa macam cool sebab I could give my blood to A people, B peeple, and AB peeple. Cool kannnnn. Hekhek. I think so lah. I always thought O peeple is noble enough since they could donate to other but they could only receive theirs only. Tapi Tu lah. Now I'm thinking AB people is cooler since I belong to one? Heheheh. 

what if I

Leave everything here and start afresh somewhere?

People will forget and move on.

And things should be better, don't you think?

But what if it doesn't?

What if tomorrow won't be better than today?

And I won't be young forever. That's for sure.

And it's better to be tired than to be broke.

And I don't want my mom to realise that she raised a quitter

I am bearing with the fact that I'd rather struggle tring to learn rather than struggling from being a stupid.

What if I really end it here right now?

No no. Life has given me wonderful things. My mom, my grandmother, my sisters, my bro, you.

You made me realise that I'm worth something

Maybe with the right person I would be.

But not with the wrong person. You won't ever feel enough.

Until this moment I'm embracing all our moments together. I might not be the one for you, but you were the one for me. At least for those moments which has passed.

I wish I could relive our moments. I wish I could go back to our moments. Not to change them, but to relive it again and again. 

But that would just be nonsense, doesn't it?

Living in past.

And what matter is now.

Oh how I need to share all my worries.

Oh how I wish we could've shared our worries together.

But we couldn't.

And I don't think we should.

We should just probably live to each of our own lives.

If only you knew how much you mean to me

If only I could tell you how much you mean to me

But I shouldn't.

If only...

I wish I could grow old with you.

Why do I keep wishing impossible things

I really wish I could stop crying right now