Tempest by Escala

If I would have my life back then.
Back when my dad still only has us,
But I guess not.
I guess my dad was feeling lonely when we leave him one by one.
And I only kept in touch with him just for money. What a selfish daughter.
I never knew how to read my own father.

I guess it should have been
If I have been taking good care of my parents.
I didnt even thought that my father would, of all people, feeling lonely.

That should have explained him playing other people's father rather than mine

I can only keep guessing
Since I am such a coward

Tapi kalau nak sebab what ifs and only ifs
Babi pun boleh terbang lol
And it's only fair since he told me this thing is just not within my control
But I hate this feeling
This feeling of barely standing there and couldnt even help with anything..


And my mother
She changed a lot
She really has

She has been a lot more open minded
A lot more laid back than she was back then
I now have the most wonderful mom. not that she was not already one back then heheh
but I too now have the saddest mom of all
You will never know how insecure a human could be
You will never know how dependent, or even.. needy, as a human could ever be
And i guess you will never know how strong would you even have to be to hold onto something that is not even there anymore

And that particular human relates to you
What can you even do about it?

As of now, i acknowledge that I am


I guess I have so much feelings  i have kept inside now that it is spilling bit by bit
Somebody told me he would listen
Rather than me talking to strangers
But he already burdened with glorious purposes of his own life ( I just want to use this sentence on him hehe), and he also means a lot to me (like a lot LOT. I have never been feeling this way) how can I ever do that?

and my friends.
U, A, R, Q, N, F
thank you for always being there for me.
To listen my rambling on and on and on