30 December 2015

well def this year i think I'm ready to flip the pages through that particular chapter. Or should i burn it now that it's almost torn apart?

Hujan.

Strange, how you'll choose carefully words for people who won't even mind to do the same to you.

And strange too, how people would use words to that extend, to do the most damage to other's heart, instead of doing the opposite.

Hujan lebat ni hoi. Hati aku pun hujan jugak ni. Siap banjir kilat lagi! Takpe biar hati je hujan. Mata jangan.

p.s. To understand and to accept are after all not the same.

p.p.s. "When nails grow long, we cut the nails not fingers. Similarity when 

misunderstanding grow up, cut the ego, not your relationship."

K.

Meiji Amino Collagen Premium!

 stirred a spoonful of it in my chocolate milk of supper. yumms~ tasted like when you pour full cream milk into your black coffee je.

no smell of fishiness whatsoever. maybe bcs i consumed the premium version one.

Kato eh produk ni mencepatkan luka kering, kurangkan kodut, dan mempercepatkan penghadaman (kasi copek poie toilet) Ha baguih bona la tuh sey ni payah bona nak dapek poi toilet. 

aku google banyak dah kot semata mata sebab nak beli. mahal jugak kot. rm145. tapi bila mengenangkan kedut yang sudah menjelmakan diri, daku gagahkan jua. Fuh. ni baru early 20s kot. 

So katanya collagen ni setin boleh tahan 28 hari. So kita tunggulah acano keputusan dio karang. Berkesan ke idok? Ha tungguuuuu.

jom lah mandi bunga

ayah just said kakak tak boleh sayang ayah sepenuhnya dah. kakak kena sayang orang lain dah. 

but i bet nobody can love me like my parents does :(

Capati

just now i went for capati. aku dok la tercongok situ senyap senyap. abang tu tak mai mai lagi.

lepastu ada satu mokcik dengan pokcik naik benz cuns datang dan duduk terus order kat abang tu.

aku dalam hati macam. Abang ni tak nampak aku ke? Dah sedih. :(

tiba2 abang tu terus bawak capati letak atas katil aku. aku macam 'eh eh tapi saya belum order mungkin orang lain punya ni' dalam hati

laju betul abang tu. sup sap sup sap dah berapa meja dia letak capati.

lepastu abang tu pusing, senyum kat aku. ha adik mau kuah apa? aku macam awhh abang ni dah biasa dengan aku rupanya hahah

Ok dah hahahahh babai!

"Aku sunyi!!"

"Di dalam keramaian aku masih

merasa sepi...."

Acah!

I just need a puddy cat pwetty badly. 

That's all. 

Alasan.

No, you no longer have excuses since mobile phone was invented.

You may just pick up the phone and dial up the number.

You may just txt them. No credit balance? Fine.

You may just Whatsapp or Wechat or Line or Telegram or whatever medium you shall use.

Just say "Hello, How are you?"

Be it a short call or not, your effort is all that matters in the end.

Or you lost the number? Or even their face from your memory ke? 

Until then, Damn You.

Dear God

Dear God, how do I tell someone that i miss them so much but i couldn't because the person won't even care as our thing was in the past?

Dear God, how do I expel this shoulda-been-past-feelings so very far, far away?

Dear God, how did I let him meant so much to me when i am none, to him?

Dear God, why does it still hurt?

Dear God, why am i still txting him?

Dear God, when will this ever stop....

Dear God, why..........

Dear God, how do I get over this person?

BENCINTA

BENCILAAAA. BUKA FACEBOOK, SEMUA ORANG ADA CERITA MASING2. BUKA INSTAGRAM, PENUH ORANG CANTIK2. FINE MEREPUTLA KAU SORANG2 KAT PENANG NI.

Scrubs

Dedolu teringin nau nak tengok Scrubs dari awal sampai habis sebab masa sekolah dulu, tak silap aku, pukul 11malam baru cerita ni mula kat tv3. 

Rojak Tonggek

 

Popiah paling best dari aku kecil sampai sekarang. Kat Jalan Pantai, Butterworth.

Aku baru tahu awal tahun ni je orang sini panggil Rojak Tonggek. Hahahahh.

Dah lama aku tak datang sini. Takdak rezeki kut. Busy nau. 

Tadi dok diri situ pun taktau camana nak makan rojak tu. Bayar dulu ke cemana. Tapi aku tengok setiap cucuk semua satu je harga dia. 50c. Okay la kan. So aku pun ambil satu cucuk. Celup. 

Dua. Tiga. Empat. Lima. Enam. 

Aku pusing ke Ibu. Ibu dah gertap bibir. Sambil tunjuk popia. Hahah. Bapak aku bagi 10 hinggit je tadi. Aku pun kunyah lelaju habiskan potongan buah jambu.

Dan terus gi ke Ibu. Makan plak popia berkuah. Ngap. Ngap. Ngap. Habis. Aku pun tak tahu berapa ketul aku dah telan. Seketul 70c je wehh.

Lepas bayar kitorang pun chow pi ke kereta.

Masa melangkah tu Ibu :

"Lain kali tak payah mai dah tempat ni."

"Awat plak?"

"Cekam penuh kat, baik yang dok pesah buah tu, makcik pakcik yang dok pesah popiah tu pun sama."

Tekak aku dah mula rasa loya.

Jiran 20 tahun

uncle Lim bagi remote control rumah kedua dia! tq uncleee! uncle nampak kami susah2 susun kereta so uncle kasi tumpang rumah dia bila2 nak parking. tq uncle! alhamdulillah.. semoga tuhan murahkan rezeki uncle sekeluarga.. dan semoga uncle dapat hidayah Islam aminnnn...

Macam2 uncle sekeluarga tolong kitorang. dulu bela ikan, kitorang balik kampung, uncle jugak yang tolong bagi makan. dulu elektrik takdak, uncle jugak tolong kasi buka peti ais buang ikan2 kasi tak busuk rumah. 

kalau ada pingat emas Anugerah Jiran Terbaik, aku dah kasi pingat berlian sekali dekat uncle. ini yang buat aku makin berkobar nak belajar bahasa cina ni!

Gaji Pertama.

Semalam bagi sikit gaji first kat Tok. Alhamdulillah. Lega rasa dapat bagi tok merasa gaji first. :)

File punya pasal

Hari ini di tempat kerja, aku tersedar satu benda. Situ ada kawan2 pejabat, kau dan boss kau aje.

Kau buat salah, siapa yang tanggung? siapa yang nak jawabkan? siapa yang nak carikan kalau kau hilangkan? 

selama ni kau terlindung baekk punya terima kasih kepada mak bapak kau. Tapi sekarang? Nanti bila2 esok diorang dah tak ada? 

Sebak jugak aku tadi. 

Dan sebal jugak pasal tak pasal2 aku petik nama orang2 yang tak ada kena mengena. Aduh.

Takpelah.. Proses belajar.. Setidaknya sekarang aku dah tau mana nak cari file2 kalau tak ada di meja. 

Aku sangat berharap yang aku dapat memudahkan diorang, dan harapnya tidak menyusahkan! Aaminn

Yoyo and me.

Yoyo oh yoyo

Sebut pasal yoyo, aku akan terkenang Ajim. 

Siapa? Aku kenal dia dari pertandingan choral speaking masa darjah enam. Dia masuk public speaking , aku jadi conductor choral speaking. Comel gila dia masa tu!

Minggu depan tu, aku datang2 sekolah, aku dapat satu surat dari kembar. Katanya nak kenal. Tehee. Lama jugak rasanya kami pakai posmen karat tu. Dia pernah bagi no phone dia, tapi bahaya sikit la sebab dia share dengan parents. Sampai sekarang aku ingat nombor dia. Sebab apa? Sebab no phone dia tu empat digit belakang sama dengan tarikh lahir dia.

Dulu lepas dapat surat, aku terpaksa buang dan koyak. Takut tiba2 mak aku nak buat spot check lulz. Padahal takde mende pun. Sekarang ni rasa menyesal pulak buang. Kalau tak boleh tunjuk anak cucu. Kahkah.

Tapi cerita aku dengan dia tak ke mana pun. Dia pernah mintak nak jadi boyfriend aku. Tapi aku kan darjah enam masa tu. perkataan couple pun aku tak tahu. Kahkah. Aku akhiri ayat ke dia dengan "no, kita tak boleh couple sebab you pendek." Okay tipu. Padahal tak nak kasitau yang mak kite marah lah awak. Hahah mana macho beb.

Tapi dipendekkan cerita, aku terpaksa rejek dia.

Masa kitorang dulu top dgn kumpulan nasyid UNIC. Masa tu diorang berlakon filem tajuk apa entah. Tapi fofuler la dalam kalangan budak sekolah rendah masa tu. Siap pass2 cd lagi. C U D IPT konon lah.

Tapi tu lah. Dulu mak aku garang terok. Aku mana berani. Nak suka orang macam mana pun tak tahu kahkahkah. So lepas aku hantar macam tu dekat dia, lepastu dia tak balas langsung dah. LANGSUNG. Aku hantar surat lagi. PUN DIA TAK REPLY. Aku tanya kembar. Diorang cakap dia marah betul dengan aku. I was like, "La kalau kawan je pun apa salahnya." Takpelah. Since then,  no more love letters for Nadia from Azim. :(

Suatu hari, aku pergi kem UPSR di USm Transkrian. And guess what? Ha ha. Aku jumpa Ajim di situ! Tapi dia buat bodoh je dengan aku. :( 

So aku pun diam je. Aku perhati je dia. Mana dia duduk, aku duduk seat belakang dia. apa benda dia pakai, semua aku cari. Dia pakai wristband masa tu, aku pun kalut tanya member mana ada jual benda alah tu. Lol. Dia main yoyo, aku pun cari yoyo jugak. Tapi tak reti main pun. Paling terer pun aku boleh buat trick segi tiga tu je dengan yoyo. Lol. Tapi dia still tak layan aku.

Kembar cakap dia malu. Weh, aku lagila. Aku yang rejek dia kot. Tapi aku plak yang mcm terhegeh hegeh dekat dia masa ni. Hahah sedihnya. 

Masa tingkatan berapa entah, aku dapat tahu dia dapat masuk sekolah sains kat kedah. Aku cuba nak contact dia lagi. Tapi tak berjaya.

Masa asasi (circa 2010-2011), aku dapat tahu dia budak asasi UM. Dan aku jugak cuba cari di twitter pakai nama dia. Dan aku jumpa! Rasa nak melompat dah time tu. Aku follow dan dm dia. Dia reply! Cakap gitu2 je. Segan lah. Dah berapa girlfriend dah la dia masa tu. Tapi aku xberapa happy masa tu. Sebab aku tak suka kalau orang tu follow aku semata mata sebab aku follow dia. So lepas dia macam krikk krikk. Aku pun block dia. Aku pikir, ala tweet aku xbest. Malu ah. 

 

Sampai umur 20, aku pikir, cukuplah sampai sini perasaan aku kat dia tu.

Sampai sekarang, kadang2 aku search jugak nama dia. Dan jumpa balik twitter dia. Dan aku akan ingat janji aku pada dia. Aku tak rasa dia ingat dah pun. 

Kalau lalu area perumahan dia pun, aku tak boleh stop fikir, what if tiba2 dia lalu sebelah aku ke, drive sebelah aku ke. What if wedding dia ke yang aku datang ni.

Aku berharap jugak, nanti bila aku dah kerja, aku dapat jumpa dia balik, ala macam dalam novel, drama dengan filem tu, dan bagitau betapa aku suka sangat kat dia dulu sampai aku takut dengan diri sendiri. Lol. Memang tak lah! 

Cuma aku harap masa tu aku masih cun melecun macam sekarang lah. Ahahahhaahahhh

and now, I just want to thank him so much for giving me such cute memories. You used to be the BIG chapter that managed to splash colourful colours in my life. Until now.

I wish him happiness.

Kisah KDK dan Daikin.

Alamak. Dah terpadam pulak. Dah kena tulis balik post. Patut save dulu sebelum bukak benda lain tadi. Adeh.

Camana nak bagi kurang bil rumah aku ni woiii?

Jadinya, sekarang aku dok pikiaq solusi macam mana nak kurangkan bil letrik.

Bulb dah cuba tukaq yg energy saving dah. Tapi tak tukar semua la. Tukaq yang rosak je dulu.

Aku bagi cadangan kat pak aku suruh tukar air cond baru. Yang energy saving. Tapi pak aku kata air cond jenis tu cepat rosak and after service dia mahai nau nau. 

So tadi aku google Kipas KDK sebab kipas kat bilik adik aku tu seiras kipas2 di sekolah dan uni. Lol. Ala kipas yang setiap kali lepas PJ confirm berebut nak duduk belakang skali betul2 bawah kipas tu. Nyaman je kan. 

Tapi masalahnya kipas kat bilik aku ni  cantik je. Anginnya malu malu kambing gitu. Geram gak. Sebab dulu bapak aku tukar kipas bilik aku tu dgn kipas luar. Aku yg buduh time tu excited je cakap boleh tukar. Apahal excited pun tak tahu, bukan boleh makan pun. 

Pendek kata, kipas bilik aku ni kalau malam2 bukak itu je, mmg aku akan terjaga 2,3x sebab bahang hangat hoii. Rumah taman ni bukan ada pokok pun. Dulu ada lah depan rumah. Tapi dah jadi taman pun. Jadi, tiap2 malam mmg aku bukak air cond saaampaila aku bangun utk solat subuh. Aku nak buat timer, timer pun dah rosak. Jam dia dah geylong. Sejuk memang sejuk. Tapi nak buat camana. Eh dah merepek.

Aaanyway tadi aku google Kipas KDK dan bukak website KDK Malaysia. Sempat jugaklah tahu sikit2 pasal kipas. Satu jenis pakai remote, satu lagi tidak. Ada satu kipas aku macam berkenan. Sensa 5 nama dia. Tapi mcm mahai sikit la. Dan la kot kalau nak kumpul duit. (Lol)

Ha tujuh ratus ringgit malaysia kauuu. Tapi betul ke sejuk2? Hmmmm...

Tapi, berbalik pasai aircond, tak silap aku, haritu aku ada dengar pasal Daikin kat iklan tadio. Pasal after service. So, let's check it outtt.

 Depa ada sedia calculator. Hang cuma perlu tahu lebar dan panjang bilik dengan tingkap hang, tingkap hang mengadap arah utara/selatan/barat/timur, dan berapa orang dalam satu bilik dalam satu satu masa. 

Website dia banyak membantu kalau  hang pertama kali nak beli aircond. Dan yang tadi aku ada sebut pasal after service kan. Salah! Hahahh. Natang tu nama dia After Sales Service. Dalam iklan radio kata Daikin paling bagus lah After Sales Service dia. Tak tau betul ke tak. 

 

Tapi kat website dia takdak rega... So aku takleh agak bajet (konon) hahaahah. Tapi dalam banyak2 produk depa aku tengok paling cool nak letak kat rumah ada dua.

 

 Hat ni rupa dia biasa ja kan. Tapi 

- energy saving

- intelligent eye

- eco friendly

- dapat singkirkan bakteriz dan kulat

- ada dehumidifier (boleh rasa sejuk tanpa kurangkan temp. Kot)

- menang anugerah inovatif tahun 2013 sbb baguih nau.

- ada automatic filter cleaning. Ang tak yah qabat semata mata nak cuci filter aircond kena sedut habuk kat filter pakai vacuum atau basuh pakai air suam bagai. Ang cuma perlu tanggalkan dust box dia ja. Pehtu pasang balik. Tu ja.

Yang hat ni cool sbb boleh control pakai apps. Dan kononnya sleek. Cewah.

- energy saving

- intelligent eye

- eco friendly

- 3d airflow natang padia taktau. Aku tak paham.

- stylish design

- WLAN control from everywhere.

Amacam? 

Makanya, mana mana Benefactor yang takperlu apa2 benefit daripada aku,  tolonglah sponsor rumah akuu. =____=

September.

Sept datang lagi.

So perasaan aku masih bercampur baur macam dulu.

Tapi mungkin dah kurang banyak. 

Mungkin aku dah boleh terima hakikat. Kalau tak banyak, sikit pun jadi.

Hakikat apa? Lol, entah. Aku pun tak pasti.

semalam dapat borak dgn Qeela. Lega sehh dapat bercakap lama lama dgn kawan. Aku kat rumah ni takdela boring sangat. Cuma rindu tu datang jugak kadang2. 

Eh anyway esok aku dah mula kerja. Wish me best of wishes ya!

p.s. Tahun ni berjaya buat raya berlalu tanpa hantar ucapan hari raya kat Paiz. birthday wishes rasanya aku akan buat jugak kot. I couldnt help but to hope he would called me up and say Hi.......

Gigi arnab

aku tak tau lah apekehenye dengan aku ni. tapi aku suka nau tengok orang ada gigi arnab. 

secara automatik aku akan rasa yaallahyarabbiapekehenyecomelsangatmanusianiiiiiikenapaakutakdegigiarnabnihoiiii

nak nak lagi kalau ada macam taring.

nak nak lagi kalau ada dimples.

mungkin aku akan mencair seperti aiskrim jatuh di atas jalan tar panas di tengah hari....

mungkin jantung aku akan dupdupdupdup teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.... innalillah di kaki lima situ juga.

is there something wrong with mehhhh :(

p.s. baru teringat crush sekolah lain dulu ada tiga2 ciri2. oh well.

nature vs nurtured

a cub thrown out to the outer world or the cub kept in the zoo?

Bihun Gorengz

Eh hello. harini weolls goreng bihun!

Bihun (separuh; direndam)

3 ulas bawang putih 

3 ketul bawang merah

Cili boh (1 senduk ; kalau takleh makan pedas, satu sudu sudah)

1 senduk ikan bilis (direndam dan ditumbuk)

1 senduk udang kering (direndam dan ditumbuk)

kicap manis (sesedap rasa)

sos tiram (sesedap rasa)

garam

gula

Fishball

Ayam

Daging (ha pilihla mana2 nak letak)

Rutin.

Panaskan minyak. Bila minyak dah panas, masukkan bawang merah dan bawang putih. lepastu masukkan udang kering dan ikan bilis. Lepastu masukkan cili boh. 

Bila cili dah naik minyak (Lol), masukkan (ayam; daging; fishball; udang; suka hati) tunggu sampai masak. Agak agak je la sebab japgi nak masukkan bihun plak kan.

okay masuk bihun. lepastu balik-balikkan. kalau perlu, potong-potong dengan sudip tu. Bagi senang sikit nak suap. Ikut kaulah. nak panjang2 mcm spaghetti, ha ikut suka.

Lepastu bila agak2 dah masak, masukkan telur. curah sekeliling bihun. takpun buat lubang tengah2 kuali tu. baru curah. Taknak pun takpe. Lepastu balik balikkan. Kita takmau dia melekat kat kuali. Nnti susah nak basuh. 

Kecilkan api. Sambung balik-balikkan.  Bihun belum masak betul lagi tu.

Agak2 dah masak, tutup api.

Angkat dan hidang. kalau nak, kacau telur dua butir, goreng. pehtu gulung. potong. dan hidang bersama bihun. 

Siap.

exam result is out!

sometimes i wish i could return back to my kindergarten time and stop myself from excelling so much. then my parents wont expect much from me.

Journey to the South.

Hello!

i'm on my way to JB sentral right now. Riding a train, mind you! Woot woot!~

830am

adik2 aku tunggu sampai train betul2 sampai. 

900am

bosan. jadi aku makan nasi lemak yg mak aku bekalkan. popia basah nanti baru makan. oh power bank dalam beg! patut ambil siap2 sebelum next passenger got on. 

915am

oh ada auntie naik. dia duduk sebelah aku. tido je. so all is well lah kot.

1030am

oh patut ambil stoking siap2 dalam poket beg. nanti nak solat senang. anyway dah sampai Ipoh.

1130am

seat aku R3 14D. 

bad choice. aku duduk sebelah kiri train. jadi matahari kena direct. cis patutlah seat ni kosong.. orang seat belakang sibuk nak cahaya. patut aku yg duduk belakang, dia meh sini duduk tempat aku ehey. 

Ah tak sabarnya nak jumpa Ati!

200pm

yeay jumpa ati!

300pm

first time solat zohor dalam train. solat duduk gitu. hikhik

505pm

dear blogger, my tab just diedddddddededed. WHYYYYYY AKU TENGAH ELOK MEMBACA OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB KOTTT

AHAD

 The long journey from Penang to JB makes me realised a thing... DON'T DO IT ANYMORE UNLESS YOU GOT A GOOD COMPANION AND A LAPTOP WITH YOU TO SPEND 12 HOURS WITH. Lepas ni taubat aku naik bas aje. Atau flight. (Last options)

Missing you.

Sometimes, you miss that person so much but you can't just tell them that easily. 

You miss them like grey needing white in its black.

You miss them like you deficient of one of those elements in the air around you.

You miss them you feel like kissing them all the time you are with them. (though that would be gay. Or sinful. Lol)

You miss them like you need them to be by your side.

You miss their annoying tattle. things you know, hell, you're just going to miss all their perks, their flaws that drove you crazy after all these times, bcs you know you'll miss them when they're gone. 

What good would it make anyway?

Nothing.

Just keep it. Lock it in one of the veins crack in your heart.

Did Prophet Muhammad SAW Warn Us of ISIS?

"At this time of dissension, he said there would appear "a group of young people who would be immature in thought and foolish." They would speak beautiful words but commit the most heinous of deeds. They would engage in so much prayer and fasting that the worship of the Muslims would appear insignificant in comparison. They would call people to the Quran but would have nothing to do with it in reality. The Quran would not go beyond their throats, meaning they wouldn't understand its essence at all, merely regurgitating it selectively. The Prophet then went on to describe these people as "the worst of the creation." 

OH.MY.GOD

Read more at : http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7702064

My Horror Movies List

I just watched 2002 Three's Going Home and i don't understand. Is it the wife or the husband who's alive? Just because at the end of the story, there was a videotape showing it was the wife who'd performed the Chinese herb bath. And has that little guy found his way home? So it turns out that the little girl was the couple's aborted child. Darn it was poignant to the core!

I now decide i loved this one better than Fruit Chan's Dumplings. Well after all that exquisitely portrayal from Mads Mikkelsen, heck, jelly baby doesn't look such tempt anymore kot.. Eher her her.

My horror movies list is expanding! Yeay!
(just randomly listed, not accorded to my personal favourite chart)

1. Confessions (2010)
(You just have to watch this!)
2. Silence of the Lambs (1991)
(My personal favourite!)
3. Sweeney Todd : The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
(Fascinated by the all the blood puddle haha)
4. Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (2005)
(Yeah, revenge alright)
5. The Doll Master (2004)
(This is soo sad.. T_T  )
6. The Loved Ones (2009)
(Interesting and easy to digest)
7. The Seasoning House (2012)
(Kinda revenge like I spit On Your Grave thing. Cool to watch)
8. Dead Silence (2007)
(I dislike puppets.. Let alone, the one with cut-out tongue.. *Horror*)
9. The Theatre Bizarre (2011)
(This piece just screams EWWWW)
10. As Above, So Below (2014)
(Kinda like heaven and hell stuff)
11. Three
(Going Home was interesting.)
12. Three Extremes
( Some i don't get why, some i do. Obv not the Korean piece)

Okay then, i'll two other more stories from Three. Gonna watch that in a bit. Good day!

tak alim pun.

kadang2 manusia ni nama je manusia.

tapi dia tak cakap bahasa yang sama dengan kita.

ataupun dia pilih untuk tidak bercakap langsung. buat aje apa yang dia suka.

macam perempuan ajak lelaki masuk BILIK dia.

memanglah tak buat apa.

tapi cuba berperangai macam orang ada agama sikit.

selemah lemah iman kan.

dah agama je yang boleh bataskan pergerakan manusia ni sekarang.

Just.. stick this on your forehead.

saying that this moment is the last to you whom i loved so much
even if you try to turn it back, even if you hold onto me crying, i was the one who said no and bid our farewell

i always act strong,
but i’m a cowardly man didn’t have the confidence to protect you forever and left

don’t love someone like me again
don’t make someone to miss again
one who looks at only you and needs only you
meet someone who loves you so much they can’t go a day without you.. please

hurting, you try to hold me back,
but i’m a cowardly woman who doesn’t have the confidence to give happiness to anyone beside her

don’t love someone like me again
don’t make someone to miss again
one who looks at only you and needs only you
meet someone who loves you so much they can’t go a day without you

even if we are ever to regret our breakup
i can’t do anything but give you our farewell

don’t cry in pain counting the time that’s passed
don’t miss a foolish love that’s already passed
one who looks at only you and needs only you
meet someone who loves you so much they can’t go a day without you..

please, i hope that you’ll be happy

none

yes this is one of those moments i just want to cry off my broken heart.

yes this is one of those moments i need to burn it out.

Because it's easier that way.
At least, at this particular moment.

Sent from my iSpaceship

Art. 8(2) FC and Noorfadilla.

Noorfadilla bt Ahmad Saikin v Chayed bin Basirun & Ors [2012] 1 MLJ 832

Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women, 1979 or CEDAW is a form of instrument to aid with women’s rights created by the United Nations General Assembly and it is an international treaty adopted in 1979 consists of 30 Articles of women’s rights to equality and non-discrimination. It also obliges governments to pledge women “the exercise and enjoyment of these rights”, as stated in Article 3 in Part 1 of CEDAW.

In July 2001, Article 8(2) of Federal Constitution was amended to include gender as a basis for non-discrimination and it was a gesture by Malaysia to show commitment by signing and ratifying it in 1995. Legally, it had the force of law in Malaysia as the country had acceded to the latter human rights treaty.

As a general rule, everybody is equal before the law, as stated by Article 8(1) of Federal Constitution. Now, with the existence of Article 8(2), a person is not to be discriminated due to his/her gender, let alone by his/her biological sex differences.

Noorfadilla had obtained employment as a Guru Sandaran Tidak Terlatih (a temporary teacher on a month-to-month basis) and when she was asked to attend a compulsory briefing, she was asked whether she was pregnant.  When it was known that she was pregnant with three month baby, her employment placement memo was withdrawn.

Discrimination is a form of unequal treatment.  When she was dismissed due to her pregnancy and Noorfadilla then took legal action against the government in 2010 after Hulu Langat district education officers revoked her appointment in 2009. It is discrimination when a woman is dismissed due to her pregnancy. Indirectly, the government is discriminating her by revoking her employment after knowing that she was pregnant.

A pregnant woman is justified by the principle of reasonable classification; nonetheless it was only applicable to Article 8(1) and did not apply to Article 8(2). On basis, it is formulated by Aristotle  in reference to Plato: “treat like cases as like”. Under sameness standard, women are always compared to men. The formal equality does not help much in the pregnancy situation because male cannot get pregnant. Thus, formal equality practice disadvantages women.

By realising this, it is preferable to select one with equal opportunity and equal outcomes for both men and women, which screamed substantial equality. Women and men cannot be similarly situated, scientifically at least. Women can get pregnant. It is an acknowledged sexual biological difference between males and females. It may be said that only females will suffer this form of oppression and is prone to be dismissed under this standard as males are never pregnant.

Men and women are not the same, as women can get pregnant. Simply put, the employer has treated Noorfadilla unequally due to her biological sex differences. It is of no right of the employer to penalise their employees due to pregnancy alone. Such a term is good example of unequal treatment.

By revoking Noorfadilla’s employment, the employer has failed to let her enjoy her right of living and also, failed to extinguish the dichotomy between public and private spheres and lets discrimination to be allowed. Noorfadilla was later then awarded RM300,000 in damages for breach of her constitutional right to gender equality.

While Noorfadilla may have won the case because of her status of public actors, Malaysian courts have been very reluctant to hold private companies liable for breach of constitutional rights. Such act is illustrated in the case of Beatrice Fernandez when a flight stewardess sued Malaysia Airlines when they fired her after she became pregnant and refused to resign.

In a nutshell, this form of adverse treatment is unlawful as it defeats the purpose of the existing of Article 8(2) which to allow one to enjoy her right of gender equality. A woman shall not be treated unfavourably just because they are different than men but instead, the differences should be embrace by the society. Be it a public actor or even private actor, every employee of Malaysia should have the privilege to enjoy their constitutional right to gender equality as permissible by law. -NS-

Nisekoi ep172

Chitoge : I was called his bestfriend recently... That  guy says i'm his bestfriend. I'm happy about that and all, but I'm wondering... I'm worried that it'll end before it even begins...

Onodera : But i don't think it's really a bad thing, you know? A 'bestfriend'. It's not something that people say so easily , even if they're the same gender, i think. I think that at the very least, it's certain that you're someone important to them. at the very least he doesn't hate you.


comel kan diorang???? zzzzzzz serius aku tak sabar nak download anime dia. tapi busy lah sekarang.. laptop pun dekat Elle lagi.. belum ambil sebab busy. yelah haritu tiba2 terpadam mana tak melompat uhuk huk huk. dia cakap bateri aku mmg takleh pakai langsung dah. jadi, pelajaran sudah dipeljari.. kalau pakai laptop, please cabut bateri belakang tu (on AC je) atau pakai kekuatan bateri sahaja tanpa plug in charger. Alah, kalau aku tak pakai gitu pun takpe kot. dah nak masuk lima tahun dah aku pakai laptop tu pun. Fair enough, right? (selamatkan diri! wihooo)



seorang manusia baru sedar yang Shingeki No Kyojin dengan Attack On Titans adalah benda yang sama. '-________- kbye.

What people don't realize about publicizing their sins online...

read this and i think i should share it with you. and just so that I won't forget...

http://fiqhofsocial.media/what-people-dont-realize-about-publicizing-their-sins-online/

Ashamed.

I would feel very, very ashamed of myself if i have to repeat myself to more than one friend about negative things i felt.

It's like, "Why should I let this petty things let me down? I still got a whole lot of things in front of me so why should i chose negative things to bring me down? Kan?"

Priority

Hello again.

Priority? Apa tew.

anggap je la tahu.

I just tweeted,

"Priority. Your life. Get that right."

Sebenarnya aku ada sedikit berperasaan just now. 

Aku ajak kawan aku keluar. Dah banyak kali kena rejek. So, common sense nya, if we have time, kita boleh ajak orang tu kot. At least, cuba lah. I'd REALLY appreciate your effort even though maybe I couldn't make time for you. Setidaknya, bahagian kau dah lepas. Kau dah jalankan 'tanggungjawab' kau untuk mencuba. People like that. 

Sedih jugak lah kita ajak lepak/makan asyik cakap takde duit. Pastu esok tu eh eh dia keluar dengan orang lain tak apa. Padahal aku ni bukan memilih tempat. padahal aku dah cakap mana2 pun tak apa. Asal kita lepak sama. Hmm mungkin aku kurang jelas kot selama ni. 

Kawan oh kawan.

Kalau kita rasa overly attached pun, please, jangan bagitau orang tu lah, kalau boleh. It's either you'll get misunderstood, or you'll get less attention than you ever had, or else.

Bila orang dah salah paham, ha mulalah kalut rasa nak jelaskan keadaan sebenar. tapi betul ke penjelasan kau tu diperlukan? Atau, betul ke penjelasan tu betul2 diterima diorang? 

Ataupun, sebenarnya, you feel so obliged to explain sometimes you don't even tell them what really happened? Perlu ke bagitau yang sebenar benarnya? 

Atau, baik kau bagitahu penjelasan yang sudah bertapis? Filtered explanation? (aku baru reka tiga saat lepas)

semata mata sebab nak jaga hati.

bagi aku, baguslah benda tu.

Menunjukkan yang perasaan sayang kau kat kawan kau tu berbalas.

Bukanlah selama ni, kau aje yang terhegeh hegeh nak kawan dengan diorang, tapi diorang tak pun.

Nobody wants to feel unwanted.

Or feel left out.

Tambah2 daripada kawan kawan yang diorang treasure.

Kalau orang ramai tu, gasak lah.

Mampus lah kau nak dengar cakap semua orang kan.

At least, kalau kawan2 kau cakap, kau boleh pilih, nak ikut ke tak. 

Diorang faham. Insyallah mesti faham.

Sebab hidup ni hidup masing2 kan.

Setidak tidaknya dah lepas tanggungjawab diorang to say something to you at least. (Read: bebelan diorang)

Hidup masing masing.

But you can never chose what to feel.

The only thing left to do is, kawal.

Cuba kawal perasaan kau tu.

Mesti ada sebab kenapa kawan kau buat sesuatu tu.

Fahamkan je la.

Tak faham pun, buat buat je faham.

kadang2 diorang bukan nak sangat kau faham. Diorang cuma nak support kau tu. Support tu penting. Walaupun kau kadang2 tak paham apa je benda yang kau support untuk diorang tu. wkwkwkwk.

Sebab kalau orang tu rasa dia perlu explain, dia akan.

Tapi kalau dia rasa dengan penjelasan dia tu akan lagi keruhkan keadaan, dan sebab tu dia pilih untuk tidak bagi penjelasan, takpe.

Pujuk hati kau tu.

Some things are better left unspoken.

Plus, i learnt that it never hurts not to know things you aren't supposed to. 

Tentu ada sebab kenapa Tuhan taknak kau tau dari awal.

Kalau aku quote buku Aleph, dia cakap gini.

"if we had spoken before, you would not have been ripe. If we were to talk later, you would have rotted."

Ingat tu.

Dan satu lagi, 

"Either learn to love thorns or don't accept any roses."

If you want to have relationship with someone else other than yourself, bear with them. 

If they can, why can't you ?

p.s. Supposedly nak cakap. Priorities. Your CALL. Get that right. -_-

kosong.

i don't know man. i feel so empty.

just what have i done for my life as of now?

had some talk with a stranger and it made me think a lot about my future.

ke mana hala tuju aku?

apa aku nak buat dengan hidup aku ni?

almost feels like i have been given a text book after all these years to guide me throughout my years and now i don't see the textbook anymore. 

Or maybe i don't need one anymore.

Tempat makan marhaen.

Wokey. setakat duduk Shah Alam Seksyen 7 ni aku dah detect mana2 tempat yang aku suka makan.

Kalau laksa, aku suka pi makan kat gerai kecik kat corner depan Bangunan Worldwide ni.

Kalau rasa nak makan mi bandung ke, mi rebus ke, sotong kangkung ke, tahu bakar ke, aku pi Restoran Bisik Bisik.

Kalau nak makan char kuetiau, aku pi Restoran Sri Gemilang area Danaumas.

Kalau nak megi goreng telur mata, aku suka pi Ali's Corner.

Kalau nak makan Hot & Roll aku slalu pi yang kat Caltex sec3 tu. Awal2 pagi seawal jam 9 kot aku rasa dah buka. kena baik2 sikit dgn makcik indon tu, baru boleh dapat extra toppings teehee.

Rasa rajin sikit dan macam nak celebrate, aku suka pi ss15. Situ ada

- Tryst cafe, ada pancakes, segala waffle bawah rm10.

 - Upstairs Cafe, kopi2 dia best. makanan dia pun. tapi sekarang macam dah overpriced sikit.

- Joe's Kitchen. pizza murah dan sedap bagi aku.

Oh camaraderie.

Kau tahu?

Banyak yang aku belajar dari berkawan ni.

Dengan berkawan, aku belajar yang apa yang kita cakap, tak semestinya kita betul betul maksudkan.

Dengan berkawan, aku belajar yang kita perlu belajar berkongsi. Apa yang seronok, apa yang tidak, sedih, marah, semualah, seronoknya kalau ada orang untuk share semua tu.

Dengan berkawan, aku belajar yang kita perlu belajar untuk terima kekurangan orang lain. Tak ada siapa yang sempurna, tapi tak salah kan kalau kita nak cari kawan yang melengkapkan kita?

Dengan berkawan, aku belajar tentang latar belakang yang bermacam-macam.

Oh family dia ajar dia macam ni.

Oh family dia semua perempuan.

Oh adik beradik dia semua lelaki.

Oh dia anak sulung/last.

Oh family dia ada dia je.

Oh dia tak ada ayah/mak. 

Oh dia dah biasa senang/susah.

sebab semua mempengaruhi cara dia. 

Dengan berkawan aku belajar yang tak semua manusia kita boleh percaya 100%. Kata kata dia, dan mungkin jugak kata-kata aku sendiri. Pemahaman boleh berbeza. Contoh aku cerita pasal biru, dia dengar biru, tapi nanti akhir akhir dia mungkin faham hijau. atau hitam, atau merah. 

Dengan berkawan aku belajar untuk sayang. 

Sayangnya nak lepas seseorang tu bila kita rasa kita dah kenal dia. 

"Sayangnya kalau dia dah tak kawan aku lagi. Tapi apa boleh buat. Itu pilihan dia."

Dengan kawan aku belajar malu.

Malunya kalau kawan aku tahu aku macam gini gini.

Malunya kalau kawan aku tahu aku tak lah sesenang mana. Fikiran aku je yang selalu positif.

Contoh.

Malunya kalau kawan aku tahu aku sayang mati kat dia.

Contoh.

Malunya kalau kawan aku tak sayang aku sesayang aku kat dia.

Contoh jugak.

Dengan kawan aku belajar benda baru. 

Benda benda yang dia minat.

Benda benda yang dia dah biasa, mungkin kita dah tau, mungkin tidak.

Untuk terima atau tidak, itu terserah.

Dengan berkawan aku belajar yang akan ada je di luar sana tu yang sekepala dengan kita.

Yang boleh terima kita. Sebab terima atau tidak. Itu juga satu pilihan.

Walau sepelik manapun kita.

Kalau tidak, mungkin belum sampai masanya lagi. Takpe, tunggu.

Dengan berkawan aku belajar untuk sakit hati.

Bila kawan kita tak nak cakap dengan kita. Langsung berhenti bercakap.

Kita tak paham kenapa.

Mudahnya kalau semua orang boleh duduk bersama dan bincang apa yang tak kena.

Tapi bukan semua orang semudah tu.

Kadang prioriti dia dan kau tak sama.

Tambahan, Situasi real life memang tak seindah drama.

Action. Cut. Dah jumpa hero dan heroin.

Kalau bernasib baik, ada lah kebetulan.

Selalunya tidak. Diam macam tu aje.

Bila kawan kita lagi seronok bila dengan kawan lain.

Bila kita tak dapat bagi benda benda yang kita tak ada, tapi dengan kawan lagi mudah je dia dapat.

Bila kita tak dapat terima apa yang kawan kita cakap. 

Selalunya sebab betul. Bila betul, lagi sakit hati. 

Kalau kawan kita ikhlas, insyallah kita perlu belajar faham kenapa dia buat / cakap macam tu.

Kalau tidak, sentiasalah ingat, manusia ni kengkadang main cakap je. Tak pilih perkataan betul2. 

Tak semua orang boleh berfikir dengan bijak dalam sekelip mata.

Kau pun. Aku pun. Dia pun.

Dengan berkawan aku belajar sifat untuk memanggil seseorang sebagai kepunyaan kau.

Kalaulah kawan tu boleh ditanda kau punya.

Kalaulah kawan tu boleh di'tag' lepastu tak ada sesiapa lagi yang boleh ambil dia pergi.

Kalaulah kawan tu boleh diberi cincin. Lol.

Sounds so wrong, man. Kawan je pun. pun? PUN?

tak doh. kau habiskan masa dengan kawan kawan lebih dari family. Sebab family kau tak ada di sisi. Pilihan agak terbatas di situ.

Jagalah kawan tu baik baik.

Walau sesakit mana pun hati sebab benda yang dia buat, sebab benda2 yang dia dah buatlah yang sentiasa membuatkan aku fikir 10,20x untuk tidak berkawan lagi dengan orang tu.

Sebab bila kau dah putuskan yang kau sesungguhnya sudah putus asa dengan dia, memang ada silap besar dah jadi. Toleransi mungkin kurang dari mana mana pihak. Dan mungkin komunikasi selama ni lagi banyak dari satu pihak je.

Ingat je lah. Perhubungan.

Kan ke hubungan tu antara dua pihak. 

Bukan kau sorang je.

Kau bukan dia, dia bukan kau.

Tak kira walau sesama mana kau rasa kau dan dia.

Kalau semua simpan dalam otak, dalam hati, tak kasi keluar, mana pihak lagi satu nak tahu?

"Takkan dia tak tahu, aku dah kasi hint"

Eh helo, mulut ada, cakaplah.

Malu?

habis kalau malu, kau nak berhenti takat situ je?

Aku percaya takdir, tapi aku percaya juga usaha.

Kalau ada rezeki.

Habis, kau berharap je la pada rezeki tanpa perlu usaha...?

Ada orang nasib dia baik, dapat je.

Ada orang tidak.

Hidup ni hidup kau.

Aku benci betul orang yang suka salahkan orang lain. Atau tuding jari. 

"Dia bagitau aku gini gini gini. Sebab tu aku buat gitu."

Eh hello, kau otak tak ada ke? nak kena orang lain fikirkan untuk diri sendiri? Asyik salahkan orang je. Kau yang biarkan diri kau dipengaruh tu tak nampak pulak salah kau ye

Habis kau nak tunggu je ke?

Hidup kau.

Pilihan kau.

p.s. Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us."
—Fay, Riding In Cars With Boys

Gems tau. bukan germs kbye.

Just how much it affects you would make you think just how big someone mean to you. Well, used to.

one who ignores might be the one who used to care so much. Never forget that.

Is this a beautiful nightmare merepek

Apa itu rindu ?

Fuh. I'm not one to talk about this actually.

i guess this is just an attempt.
a weak attempt from my side whatever missing someone means to me.
and why should i write on this?
well.. why shouldn't i?

because right now i am missing.
many persons for very various reasons.
Be it due to my past, and maybe because my present is just not that fun anymore.
Eh?
it's my choice, right?
Because it happens now. I can still change it.

Just that, human sometimes need time to make them realise things they have let go. or accidentally let go. or accidentally on purpose let it go.

For once, i shall tell you one of my stands in this life.
That if you want a candy, you can have it.
A child may depend on an adult to get one.
But an adult, that is when one must make a choice, whether to have it or not, whether to have it too much, or too less of it.
Because  life of an adult is about making choice.
Making decisions.
Note here that this candy i am referring now, may not be a candy anymore.
it is more to things that can bring you poison if you have too much of it, if you know it well.
well, most of the times, you do. you do know it will lead to worse situation, if you already have it bad.

I have friends that i consciously realise they somehow pull me down and caught me in their entanglement. Such allurement. Such.. enchant.
Just like how moth is enticed to the flame.

Some of them even awakens my inner uncivilized, animal manner.
I am not sure it is wise to appraise such manner.
Note that i use the word "entanglement". which may sounds negative as it may be.
Still, such matter owed an illustration from my side though.

I have friends who is fitting me just like a piece of tetris. Perfectly.
And then it never came across to my mind
that this piece of tetris is bringing along a grenade with it.
Just when i myself started to feel the excitement on how things fitting perfectly.


Some of them make me wary of my own feelings whenever they are around. and the other way around.
On how i am making them feel.
On how well they understood me.
well of course this could never be achieve if you fail to do your part, by sharing things.
Sharing your thoughts freely.
Because you know, no matter how crooked you may be, no matter how fragile you were once,
they might not acknowledge it, they might not go with it,
At the least, they do know, you are just being you.
There will come a time when you realise, no matter how you try to mold someone into a person you think is better than they are right now, without their side of consciousness intact,  you might want to think and start again. On why you start it on the first place.
You don't give up, you just understood that everyone is in control of their own lives.
They should live however they want to.

Some of them make me acutely aware of seeing future with them in it.
Weh it would be fun when you have your children one day, and you will introduce to them, "Hey kids, they're my close friends and I am proud of them for still being my friends after all these times."
That perseverance. I want to have it. I really really really do.

Some of them ponders me so much i get so annoyed and while we are spinning in the merry-go-round, i am starting to stop and wonder how would it be if i let their hands go.
As their hands are starting to suffocate my air, somehow.

Some fails to put down my hunger for them. 

On how friendship should make you a more fun person with them in the frame. 

in YOUR OWN frame.

Or maybe, you should be the one who's making it fun instead of waiting for some miracle to happen and make everything less boring.

Or maybe, because you finally realise you don't have the ability to do so, and we're back to square one.


and some of them has succeed in making me wonder what friendship is all about. 

They give me a push when i needed one. Or two. Or three. (i secretly adore just how cute they are when they push me to do things with their good intentions wanting to see me succeed awhh :'))

honestly kan, not just push. Punch me if you need to. People need that wake up call sometimes weh.

Also, they give me their shoulders when the rainy days came through. 

takyah lah sampai menangis sama2. 

It takes a lot of courage for some people to show their fragile side tau. Especially to their close friends.

They provide me tinsy little flare for me to light up my little cupboard i'm living in.
They even lure me out of it when i was afraid to come out and to trust people again. macam biasa, kita dop tahu apa orang tu dah pernah lalui. banyak kali dah kena makan kawan ke, asyik diperguna ke, kadang kalau bukak cerita, membara balik. tak cerita asyik tanya kenapa kau macamni blablabla. 

Tapi takpa, sebab last2 kita tau depa kisahkan kita.

Bukan sebab nak sibuk tahu pasal semua orang je semata mata.

Eksklusif tau layanan gitu.

Well isn't  that wonderful?
Most of my friends don't realise it, but i shine outbright at most when they smile. Even if it's too dark for them to see mine.


And also.
Consciousness.
Realisation. all of sudden everything is clearer.
the dots you have been collecting, or connecting, might finally drawn into half of a picture.
but is it true?
Is the picture you are connecting is the truth?
Because most of the times, people only see what they want/expect to see.
People do not realise something, until other people came into the picture and tell you things.
might be things you missed to see (due to our rose tinted, negative tinted or sephia tinted glass. your call) , or all of sudden, one day...

It's like one day, you wake up, and you realise, "Damn, Am I not missing  something...."
But what is it? What is it in life that you are missing?

Just when you realise you missed something in your life, you just don't know what the hell is it that you're missing.
A friend? A family member? Friendship? Family ties? a connection? Memories?
Just what is it?

You wander in the dark, because you don't really see the picture you are in.
You're in the dark. Nobody knows this, unless you tell them.
And when you decided to tell one, other people just don't see it the way you see the picture.
And now you are left in the dark. Alone.

I am conscious I am in that state right now. i just don't sure when is it that my picture has been surrounded by the darkness. Just who brought it?

It takes at least two people to make a relationship. No one is always right and no one is always wrong. And you're not always going to see eye-to-eye on every little thing. It doesn't make you smarter, or superior, or more right to point out every little thing they do that's not to your liking. 

On one side, I have the choice not to be alone. I try my best to be surrounded by familial love.
But perhaps, i sought for friendship ties.
Unconcsciously, i envy person with very close friends.
and maybe i was trying to find it in my own version.
for my own.
for me to own.
Or is it more than friendship love from one that i seek ?
Nah, another commitment to commit.
I am already lost with my present commitment.
I do not think I should need to seek for another commitment, at times being downcast of my failed attempts of seeking, and at times being downcast of my failed persons findings, too many things to be achieved by one called N. 

Let's catch a breath and never forget this, 

No one to blame but me.

It was a mistake," you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.

nota2 kecil

tadi tiba tiba nampak satu kotak ni. dan tiba tiba jugak aku rasa rajin bebeno nak menyelongkar.

What did i found?

THIS.

sampai ke sudah aku tak tahu siapa. Katanya budak lelaki, tapi tulisan kemas sgt doh. for sure, ada member2 satu batch nak kenakan aku ni....

Macam kelakar je ada orang nak kenal ngan aku. tapi prank2 pun, berbunga la jugak hati bila dapat surat layang, ehey, nota2 kecik gitu hikhik.

aku dapat masa form 1, so... aku takleh nak agak siapa lah. 

mula2 aku ingat abang angkat aku, si AP. tapi tulisan mamat tu buruk nau (kahkahkah), takkanlah dia pulak. tapi i 

did informed him everytime i got those little notes.

tak sangka ada lagi sbb aku ingatkan aku dah terbuang dah masa kemas2 barang nak pindah rumah dari rumah Perda dulu.

apa2 pun, walaupun ini mungkin cuma prank, tapi setidak2nya benda ni dah maam lebih kurang boost up my confidence level lah.. sebab aku tak suka langsung duduk asrama (tapi kena paksa jugak so yeah).

bila baca balik some of those little notes, the person asked for my address and my picture, yet I don't  remember giving him any. which is good, i think. aku rasa aku tak bagi pun sebab abang angkat dari Manjung tu kata ke aku toksah le bagi2 gambor. Bahaya. I'm glad i followed his words. yelah mana tahu kalau jadi apa2 kan. Aku ni bukannya jenis bangun tahajud (katanya bangun tahajud penghindar sihir.) Lol.

amboi mengimbau. takpelah. cukup sampai sini. Kenangan je pun kan.

while listening to wonderwall by Oasis.

i thought this to myself while drowning in the class. 

"The world is already a noise. So why can't we choose the only noises that we want for the rest of our lives."

Kan?

hidup kena beringat

Sisipan perkongsian ilmu 

Hasan Basri ditanya: Apa rahsia zuhudmu di dunia ini? Beliau menjawab: aku tahu rezekiku tidak akan diambil orang lain, kerana itu hatiku selalu tenang. :

Aku tahu amalku tidak akan dikerjakan orang lain, kerana itulah aku sibuk beramal soleh. 

Aku tahu ALLAH Ta'ala selalu memerhatiku, kerana itulah aku malu jika ALLAH melihatku sedang dalam maksiat. 

Dan aku tahu kematian itu sudah menungguku, kerana itulah aku selalu menambah bekal untuk hari pertemuanku dengan ALLAH........ 

Saudara2ku: 

           Jangan tertipu 

        dengan usia MUDA 

        karena syarat Mati 

         TIDAK harus TUA.

   Jangan terpedaya dengan 

        tubuh yang SEHAT 

       karena syarat Mati 

       TIDAK mesti SAKIT

   Jangan terperdaya dengan 

        Harta Kekayaaan

                Sebab 

    Si kayapun tidak pernah 

     menyiapkan Kain Kafan 

             buat dirinya 

      meski cuma Selembar.

      Mari Terus berbuat BAIK,

         berniat untuk BAIK,

     berkata yang BAIK-BAIK, 

   Memberi nasihat yang BAIK

 Meskipun TIDAK banyak orang 

      yang mengenalimu dan 

   Tidak suka dgn Nasihatmu

        Cukup lah  اللهِ yang 

     mengenalimu lebih dari 

           pada orang lain. 

      Jadilah bagai Jantung 

        yang tidak terlihat, 

     Tetapi terus berdenyut 

     setiap saat hingga kita 

 terus dapat hidup, berkarya 

     dan menebar manfaat 

       bagi sekeliling kita 

     sampai diberhentikan 

              oleh NYA

            Saudara2ku: :)

"Waktu yang kusesali adalah

         jika pagi hingga 

      matahari terbenam, 

  'Amalku tidak bertambah 

            sedikitpun, 

  padahal aku tahu saat ini 

       umurku berkurang"

        (Ibnu Mas'ud r.a)

Nasihat ini utk diri sendiri, utk share dgn kawan2, anak2 & keluarga..semoga Allah memberkati & meredhoi kita. Aamiin..

Mimpi.

Have i wrote here been dreaming about snake last week? like twice or something.

and today, (TA-DA) i dreamt it too. 

there would always be two snakes.

one should always be able to wrap around my foot before i woke up. 

but never bit me.

Takut jugak. dua tiga menjak ni asyik mimpi pasal ular je :( 

Mungkin aku lupa baca tiga kul dgn ayat kursi kot smlm. 

Yes. i think so.

Should i tell this to my parents?

Nah.

Mimpi mainan tidur saja.

Okay nak solat subuh kemudian nak bersiap ke fakulti. 

Babai

necklace.

i hope one day my husband would give me a cute necklace.

because i think it would be really sweet putting something THAT sweet close to your heart.

Eh ke tak. Eher eher eher.

tapi nanti tiap kali mandi nak kena buka dulu. Acamno. Aku ni dahlah sangat 'boleh diharap' kalau bab2 menyimpan barang ni.
Ehkaurantaibelumdapatsiapanakentahtaktahulagidahsibukfikirmacammacamkbye


p.s. terpengaruh dengan lagu Ed Sheeran '-___-

Monster under my bed.

My daughter, Katy, is 6, and has an overactive imagination. She regularly crawls into my bed at night with my husband and I, telling us about the monsters in her room. One, she said, has a black body that looks almost blob-like, with yellow skin on his face and big black eyes. It pins her to her bed and touches her roughly with black hands, sometimes choking her until she can’t breathe. The other one, with red scaly skin and yellow eyes, is really nice. It lives beneath her bed and sits with her after the black monster visits; she says it makes her feel safe again.

This morning I went to do the laundry, and found blood on Katy’s pajamas. I rushed to her room to talk to her, but instead vomited once I flicked on the light. My husband’s body lay in pieces, pools of blood taking up most of the floor. Katy curled up in her bed, her hands over her ears and her eyes squeezed shut. Next to her was the red skinned monster she spoke about. It stared at me with sad eyes, and too shocked to do anything else, I stared back. He started to move towards me and all I could do was stand still, even when it gently placed a clawed hand on my shoulder then crawled underneath the bed.

I looked down at my husband, now noticing his black dressing gown that was torn to shreds, and the rest of the pieces of the mask he was wearing, small yellow pieces.

source from internet.

#np Brian McKnight - One Last Cry

i'm trying my best to be the saviour, so that one day, someday, there'll be somebody who's goin to save me.

Dumbo me

" For you, I was a chapter. For me, you were the book."

Random stranger i need you.

sometimes, i wish i could just pour my dreadful feelings on my Ex to another stranger, cried on their shoulder, and hoping that i will never saw them again.

Stranger is good bcs they wont judge you bcs they dont know you.

stranger wouldnt remind you on whatever you used to feel bcs it's a one hit wonder.

i kinda need this right now.

idk maybe i'm just feeling a little wacky rn. lol

i feel quite suffocated rn.

chest feeling like it's going to burst anytime.

Child planning.

i may have to reconsider my planning to have lots of children. 

if i were to work, and my husband is not rich, we have to have only two, or 3 at much. 

if it were to be more than that, he should adopt kids or something. 

the responsibility, the mood needed. fuh all have to be considered very seriously weh.

buat anak senang, nak jaga tu. jaga bukan boleh main jaga ja. nak kena jaga supaya jadi manusia. jadi orang. kalau takat jaga ja, macam mana dengan masa depan anak bangsa? 

chewah semangat plak aku.

k goodnight.

i failed you, self.

When people you chose to trust failed you 

Patrick was kinda right. trusting them again is my decision, proving me wrong is your choice.

it kinda crushes me inside because i prayed and prayed so hard for my friends not to be my next mistakes.

please don't cry, self.. 

Ini bukan kali pertama. 

dan aku tak rasa akan jadi kali terakhir.

p.s. i dont want to be mysterious. i just want to be who i am with persons i'm comfortable with. 

p.p.s. sadly, they would always be the ones who won't feel the same as i am towards them. :'(

payung

 Kadang kadang, ada payung lebih daripada satu ni bagi kita peluang untuk tahu apa lagi kegunaan untuk payung ni.

payung tak semestinya untuk payungkan kita daripada matahari dan hujan je kan?

kadang kadang payung buat kita nampak pelangi di sebalik hujan yg kadang kadang dilindungi dek awan resah kita.

just make sure the umbrellas that you have right now is an aunthentic and that you really like the purpose of you having them.

macam payung dalam Kingsman tu. 

eleh.

If you can't hang

and my heart screams this the other day...
"you're pretty, but his heart just wants what it wants. it's not you. it's just simply not you."

simply to put... no matter how pretty i become,
he just won't want me back.
and that's all that matters to it.

no matter how many people say it,
i could never brought my thought to keep its silence
from thinking
"cantik pun apa guna, dia still taknak kat aku."
and everytime, i would feel veeeery miserable afterwards.

i used to love the way he makes me feel.
i did, and i still do.

he used to want me when i wanted him.
So can i say i am so grateful just because of that alone?
That tad piece of memories?
No. it was what makes me now.
I grew up with his love. Literally.

Hey, thanks for that.

:(

oh well. 

Today is the day where we are going to send Hakim awayyyy. to his sekolah sains of course. booohooooo my little brooooooooo

wth

i'm just full of surprises, even i sometimes shocked of my capabilities to run wild.....

rubbish

weeeeell.. few days ago, my friend facetime-d me from another country.

and now, i just couldn't stop thinking how wonderful it could be if someone, out there, who's living in another country, is my special one. 

awwhhhh so coool! and awesome! their culture differences, their social differences, all their mentality differences, (positive conducts only, mind you.) i would really love to experience that!

and then few years later, he's gonna come back home with a kid. or worse, a wife. lepastu i would cry like hell, and then i pulak lari ke luar negara. omg epic sungguh drama bersirimu. Lol

ps: how wonderful it would be if someone cool is waiting for you. (MY definition of 'cool', not yours, of course)  fuh fuh. too much too ask, no?

pps: was watching horror movie Mama when suddenly rain poured in (and still) .mencik ah astro ishh potong stim.

missing

is it illegal if you miss someone physically? i mean, not sexually. like, presence. yeah, just that.

that presence lingers on me now.

*damnit stop quoting Fergie's*