Mom and friends

It was never about the value of the gift. But the thoughts they put into the matter. Maybe that's what it takes for you not to feel lonely. And feel forgotten. My mom is always good for doing these stuff to us her kids. Ada je benda dihantarnya. Ice-cream lah, Lychee, Kueh mueh, telekung, so many thingssss

ya Rabb, please give her the best Jannah there is to our good mothers.

And to my friends. From time to time ada je rezeki yang diorang kongsi dengan aku. Macam-macam bentuk! And I couldn't stop thanking God for letting them have the time to think of me. Because me, such a nobody, such a lowlife, good-for-nothing creature, and they still think of me. God, I am humbled by these. All the time. Thank you God. Thank you for always reminding me that sometimes my friends still have time to think of me, such lowlife, lonely friend, good-for-nothing friend.

I am always open to text my friends who made me feel the best of them once upon a time, but I am always afraid I could be a bother.. there's nothing worse than bothering your friend with unnecessary things. Consumed the time of their lives for some stupid things. I x want to do that. Thank you God. Thank you friends.

little party for my sis

Shes done with her thesis finally! Now what's left is just another paper. Wishing you the very best, little sis!

Ta-daa!

hot to make your blade sharp again 101

Use aluminium foil.

Dun-Dun--DunDunnnn

It worked! I don't know why it became watery, but it works! (Don't ask, Ive been trying to get the turmeric stain to get out sincer forever! ughhhh)

Laksa lagii Pt. 2

Bahan-bahan untuk dikisar 1

Ni aku bakar pakai lighter je. Lilin ke dapur gas ke takdak kat rumah ni.

Kisar halus halus! Kalau tidak, satgi hang nampak tenggel timbul bits of chillies. Stressssss. Dah kena menangguk Dan kisar lagi sekali! (Aku la tu!)

Bahan-bahan untuk dikisar 2:

 Kalini pakai mackerel-in-a-can. Satu tin sahaja. Dan nenas!

Aku blend ikan dulu. Dah habis blend ikan-ikanan baru blend nenas menggunakan blender yang sama (anyway tengah hari tadi baru je aku usha mixer grinder Panasonic yang dekat rm400 tu ada empat mixer, satu mixer stand. Macam cool. Tengoklah bila bila Ada rezeki lagi)

Barang-barang Yang perlu dihiris:

1. Aku letak bahan kisar bawang dulu. Sampai mendidih. Baru aku letak isi ikan yang dah dikisar. Aku dah ambil gambar, tapi sekarang ni phone Aku jadi lambat betul. Tak tahu lah kena. Gambar dah banyak kot Aku delete zzzzzz.

2. Lepastu masuk kisaran nenas Dan air.

3. Pehtu baru masuk dedaunan, Bunga jantan Yang Telah dibelah empat, Dan juga asam keping. Kalini Aku masukkan juga asam jawa satu sudu kecil. Padu juga rasa dia.

Verdict: Kalini punya kuah laksa rasa dia lebih ikan ya kawan kawan. Tentu korang rasa duh Di hang masak laksa kut takkan nak rasa kambing tiba tiba kan apooo. Oh tak, haritu Aku pakai sardine dua tin kot. Tapi tak rasa macamni. Kalini Aku dah pandai sikit. Aku letak bawang merah lebih. Bawang besar Dan kecil. Bawang putih pun Aku letakkk.

Alhamdulillah padu. Tapi. Eh banyak tapi. Blender Aku kecil so satu tin tu Ada like 3 ketul ikan besar2. Aku buat dua trip tapi Tu la blender kecil kan. Dia tak blend betul tapi Aku terpaksa campak je dalam periuk sebab dah terlebih letak air lulz.

Angels

I have done things I'm not proud of, I've felt and sometimes still feel feelings I shouldn't have feel.

These pandemic is bringing the worst out of me. Maybe not only the pandemic to be blame for, but also time that is passing.

I am so lucky to have these friends. It's like one way of God telling me. "Di, you are not alone. I know you think you are, but you are not. My good servants are surrounding you. Just take a good look and try harder to learn to appreciate more." And I did. And I found my peace alas.

I have such limited resources to retaliate to these people whatever shape of love they are sending me, but I still have my prayers. And prayers are not something to look down at. What more, when the prayers are wishing nothing but well and goodness to other people. 

Abu Darda reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “No Muslim servant supplicates for his brother behind his back but that the angel says: And for you the same.”

I may be selfish, but I find my peace by praying goodness to others, because I am praying for myself too. For me to be as good as they have been to me. For them will never know how much it means to me, how suffocated I was losing in my despair and sometimes I couldn't push my legs back in order to find the surface to take a breath. I just feel like my body is being taken away by the current. 

God must have been feeling so sad. Because I was not grateful enough to appreciate the life which He has given to me. Now, it makes me feel better when people put effort for me as much as I did for them. It makes me feel better when people say that out loud. It makes me feel better when I strive to be better and good and succeed at it. Even not at one go. Even if it will take a few hundred times. 

What has passed is past. I shan't dwell in my past. The past might not be a good idea to stay in, but at least, I must pull myself together and move forward. Be better. If person A does not see it, doesn't mean I should still be dancing around person A. People make effort for people they think deserve to be in their lives. I have stopped caring for those who aren't. And for those who are, I try to care more for them. 

It's never a wonderful feelings when the person you miss is not there at the end of the phone line anymore. Not there to see you anymore. And the only medium for you to do so is through God. It's so exasperating. 

Well I am in no team since both are the two people I love most. But when one of them start to do whatever they did to me, I can't help but to hate their action. You did that to me, I could handle it. But why are doing that to other people too? The ones which I really care about. I am just a human. I try to be kind. I try to be understanding at times. But sometimes I just couldn't. So what I did was, I leave it to God. Pray that God will show them ways to be happier by not hurting somebody else.

ayam masak taktau

So.... Gua teringin sangat lauk orang kenduri niii..so gua taktau nak Google apa. So resepi yang jumpa ni pun tak ikut 100%.

Jooom masaaakk!

serbuk kunyit + garam. Ketepikan.

missing: lengkuas.

kasi blend. Ni sebelum masuk cili kering

kasi goreng dulu ayam kitaaa

with the same Frying oil, masukkan bahan bahan Bintang kulit kayu lawang flower agitchewww

masuk bahan kisar. Aku masukkan Cheyenne pepper juga ni. Durhaka. Hekhek. Lepastu tunggu sampai pecah minyak. Api kecil je. Karang melompat lompat sambey tu.

Rupe gini le. 

masuk ayam dah goreng sesikit tadi tu, pandan, daun limau purut, tomato. Kacau sebati. Pehtu baru masuk santan dan gula garam. Kacang peas pun. Kacau sebati dan Tunggu hingga mendidih.

tadaaaa

buat kek pakai roti gardenia

I never knew it's possible to bake a cake using bread (say whuttttt?) 

i used 7 slices of Gardenia green ones. Should've used more but I only have a small food blender....

cara-cara

kita blend roti. Aku buat dua batch sebab blender tak beso.

ketepikan.

pukul telur dan gula. (Tapi aku tersilap masanii. Pi pukul telur dengan Susu pekat lolll). Lepas tu masukkan minyak masak sayuran Daisy,  Susu pekat, baking powder, dan vanilla essence.

colouring timeeee! Ada tiga bekas berasingan. Lagi satu batch aku tak campur apa-apa warna.

Agaknya phone memory aku dah full. Tu pasal phone tak tangkap betul kot.

Aku silap sikit ni. Ingatkan ada bekas sederhana besar. Rupanya tak ada.... Tempekla kat sini...

Oleh sebab kek aku punya acuan macam kelakar, so Aku adjust sikit timing bako dalam oven tu. Aku buat 160 degree Celsius dan bakar 15 mins dan kemudian bakar sekali lagi pada suhu yang sama selama 10mins.

HASILNYAAA....

VERDICT:

THANK GOODNESSSS rasa kek..... edible laaaaa. Tapi mostly rasa roti juga sebab aku pakai roti wholemeal hahahahahhh. Tak sabar nak tunggu adik aku bangun tido tengah hari dia nak suruh dia rasa pulakkk.

wings

I look at this here and wonder if I will ever have soulmates and hoping he will lead me to heaven in the most gentlest way he could ever be. 

And I like it whenever 

Aaaand also I've started to Google on the nursing homes. Mahainyaaa. Takdak Ka insurance yang cover for this oneeee.

vaksin patin

Got my first vaccine today, peopleeeeee!

I might be feelin jumpy for the strangest reason.

Aaaaand

My best friend got me patin to cook! Ya rabbiii I really, really wanted patin, terribly. But my money is quite scarce this monthhhh. So I tried to forget about it. God is Great, He gave me rizq in the form of good sisters and friends. Angels. I have blood related sisters who are ones, too! I am so, so thankful for this. They dont know this, but this gesture means the world to me right now. I needed this to regain my inner consciousness. I need to be better for the days to come by, better. 

goblin

You know what... Everytime I feel like I really want a boyfriend,I'd start watching Goblin again. How wonderful kan??? Hehehe. It's never a loss to dream. Dream bigger. Oh no no. It's better love and lost than to never love at all they say. I'm such a sucker

48 uninterrupted hours in Napa

Dasar McDreamy. 

When he said this, I only pictured  a person saying all these things to me. Lol as if somebody would bother consider me a part of his future. Me and only me. Well of course, that person would never ask me all these. But my god, wouldn't it be so wonderful if one day I would finally be worthy of someone that he couldn't help but to finally say these to me? And really mean each and every word of it?